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("X windows.  You'll envy the dead.")
("X windows.  You'd better sit down.")
("X windows.  Warn your friends about it.")
("X windows.  There's got to be a better way.")
("X windows.  The problem for your problem.")
("X windows.  The joke that kills.")
("X windows.  The first fully modular software disaster.")
("X windows.  The defacto substandard.")
("X windows.  The art of incompetence.")
("X windows.  The cutting edge of obsolescence. ")
("X windows.  Simplicity made complex.")
("X windows.  Putting new limits on productivity.")
("X windows.  Power tools for power losers.")
("X windows.  Power tools for power fools.")
("X windows.  No hardware is safe.")
("X windows.  Never had it, never will.")
("X windows.  More than enough rope.")
("X windows.  Live the nightmare.")
("X windows.  Let it get in _your_ way.")
("X windows.  Japan's secret weapon.")
("X windows.  It could happen to you.")
("X windows.  It could be worse, but it'll take time.")
("X windows.  Ignorance is your most important resource.")
("X windows.  Garbage at your fingertips.")
("X windows.  Form follows malfunction.")
("X windows.  Flawed beyond belief.")
("X windows.  Complex nonsolutions to simple nonproblems.")
("X windows.  Flaky and built to stay that way.")
("X windows.  Even your dog won't like it.")
("X windows.  Don't get frustrated without it.")
("X windows.  Dissatisfaction guaranteed.")
("X windows.  A mistake carried out to perfection.")
("When in doubt, use brute force." "		-- Ken Thompson")
("There's no sense in being precise, when you don't even know what" "you're talking about." "                -- John von Neumann")
("I bet the human brain is a kluge." "                -- Marvin Minsky")
("The effort of using machines to mimic the human mind has always struck" "me as rather silly. I would rather use them to mimic something better" "                -- Edsger Dijkstra")
("Much of [Scheme's] power comes from its simplicity ... \"The fox knows" "many things, but the hedgehog knows one great thing.\"  Scheme is a " "hedgehog." "                -- PC Scheme Tutorial, viii (Texas Instruments)")
("Functions compute\; macros translate." "                -- Dave Moon")
("A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps," "snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana" "bag again (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a" "jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal--Panama!" "                -- GLS, Common Lisp: The Language")
("If a `religion' is defined to be a system of ideas that contains" "unprovable statements, then Godel taught us that mathematics is not" "only a religion, it is the only religion that can prove itself to be" "one." "                -- John Barrow")
("On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!], `Pray," "Mr.Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right" "answers come out?'  I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of" "confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." "                -- Charles Babbage")
("General recursion is the `go to' of functional programming." "                -- Erik Meijer")
("Increasingly, people seem to misinterpret complexity as" "sophistication, which is baffling -- the incomprehensible should cause" "suspicion rather than admiration. Possibly this trend results from a" "mistaken belief that using a somewhat mysterious device confers an" "aura of power on the user." "                -- Niklaus Wirth")
("Just because we Lisp programmers are better than" "everyone else is no excuse for us to be arrogant.  \;-)" "                -- Erann Gat")
("People in the Algol/Fortran world complained for years that they" "didn't understand what possible use function closures would have in" "efficient programming of the future. Then the `object oriented" "programming' revolution happened, and now everyone programs using" "function closures, except that they still refuse to to call them that." "                -- Henry Baker")
("If you like, consider me to just be saying that when you add a tiny" "conceptual amount of theoretical complexity going from a Lisp1 to a" "Lisp2, you get an tiny theoretical speedup..." "                -- Kent M. Pitman")
("CLOS isn't the solution to everything.  Common Lisp (which includes" "CLOS) is the solution to everthing \;)" "                -- Kelley Edward Murray (kem@franz.com)")
("Save the environment.  Create a closure today." "                -- Cormac Flanagan")
("                 PLIate's Dream" "" "           [to be sung to the tune of" "                 Pilate's Dream" "          from Jesus Christ Superstar]" "" "" "I dreamed I was a brand new language," "The ultimate in speed\;" "I handled strings as fast as RPG," "And twice as easily." "" "I crunched numbers like COBOL," "Trees like APL," "And FORTRAN loaned its FORMATs and GO TOs," "The cause of many screws." "" "And then a man said, \"Now we'll write a monitor," "With Multics what it's for." "Our project is begun\;" "We'll code in PL/I.\"" "" "Then I saw thousands of coders" "Searching for their bugs," "And then I heard them mentioning my name" "And leaving me the blame." "" "" "                -- The Great Quux" "                     (with apologies to" "                        Rice and Webber)")
("                My Favorite Hacks" "           [to be sung to the tune of" "                          My Favorite Things" "            from The Sound of Music]" "" "" "Circular MAPCAR and ANDCA'd negation," "Indirect JMP auto-incrementation," "Tangled spaghetti embroidered in stacks:" "These are a few of my favorite hacks." "" "Mismatched DEFINE-TERMIN pairs with .QUOTEing," "Misbalanced brackets for macroed remoting," "PDP-6's with chess tourney plaques:" "These are a few of my favorite hacks." "" "LAMBDAs as GO TOs and spooling on TPLs," "Flip-flops and bit drops and TRCE's in triples," "Crufty heuristics that prune minimax:" "These are a few of my favorite hacks." "" "When the bugs strike," "When the disks crash," "When I read this verse," "I simply remember my favorite hacks" "And then I feel even worse!" "" "                -- The Great Quux" "                     (with apologies to" "                        Rodgers and Hammerstein)")
("                  Lambda Bound" "" "           [to be sung to the tune of" "                 Homeward Bound]" "" "" "I'm just a little value cell," "And I play my special role so well --" "        Hmmm --" "Serving as a global switch" "To predicate some system glitch\;" "But some strange value -- who knows which? --" "Could cause me functions to bewitch!" "        Lambda bound!" "I wish I was" "        Lambda bound!" "Bound, so no SETQ's get me\;" "Bound, so quits will reset me\;" "Bound, where I can forget my" "        Top-level value." "" "It's hard to catch those system screws:" "'Most any value causes me to lose --" "        Hmmm --" "Each atom looks the same to me," "Whose interned name I cannot see," "And every NIL and every T" "Reminds me that I long to be" "        Lambda bound!" "I wish I was" "        Lambda bound!" "Bound, so no SETQ's get me\;" "Bound, so quits will reset me\;" "Bound, where I can forget my" "        Top-level value." "" "Next time I'll have a MAR break set" "And try to catch each clobber threat --" "        Hmmm, mmmm --" "The next covert attempt to mung" "Will cause the MAR break to be sprung," "But then the poor LISP will be hung" "Because I'm not as I have sung:" "        Lambda bound!" "I wish I was" "        Lambda bound!" "Bound, so no SETQ's get me\;" "Bound, so quits will reset me\;" "Bound, where I can forget my" "        Top-level value." "" "" "              -- The Great Quux" "                   (with apologies to" "                      Paul Simon)")
("			The HACTRN" "" "Once before a console dreary, while I programmed, weak and weary," "Over many a curious program which did TECO's buffer fill, --" "While I pondered, nearly sleeping, suddenly there came a feeping," "As of something gently beeping, beeping with my console's bell." "\"'Tis my DDT,\" I muttered, \"feeping on my console's bell:" "	Once it feeped, and now is still.\"" "" "Ah, distinctly I remember that dark night in bleak December," "And each separate glowing symbol danced before me, bright and chill." "Eagerly I wished the morrow\; vainly I had sought to borrow" "From my HACTRN aid for sorrow -- sorrow for the bugs which fill --" "For the strange unknown and nameless bugs which ever all my programs fill --" "	Bugs which now I searched for still." "" "And the coughing, whirring, gritty fan I heard inside my TTY" "Made me with fantastic terrors never known before to thrill\;" "So that now, to still the beating of my heart I stood repeating," "\"'Tis some interrupt entreating DDT to signal me --" "Some strange interrupt entreating DDT to signal me --" "	Its importance surely nil.\"" "" "Presently my soul grew stronger: hesitating then no longer" "I decided that I would respond to this strange program's call\;" "TECO, which I then attended, to my soul more strength extended\;" "With ^Z I ascended, going to my DDT --" "<esc><esc>V I typed, and answered soon my DDT --" "	TECO there, and that was all!" "" "Dumbly at my console peering, as I sat there, wondering, fearing," "Doubting now that any interrupt was ever there to call\;" "But the silence was unbroken, and my HACTRN gave no token," "And the only sound there spoken from my TTY's whirring fan --" "The low and rough and distant sound came from my TTY's whirring fan --" "	TECO there, and that was all." "" "Back into my TECO going, with my pounding heart now slowing," "Soon again I heard a feeping, somewhat louder than before." "\"Surely,\" said I, \"surely this is some strange bug of RMS's" "Which an interrupt professes, though I have no other job\;" "Let me then ask DDT if it thinks there's another job --" "	'Tis a bug, and nothing more!\"" "" "Again I went up to my HACTRN while cold shivers up my back ran" "<esc><esc>V I typed, my jobs now once more to display." "Only TECO was there listed\; though my trembling heart resisted" "Yet I willed my hand, insisted, <esc>J to quickly type --" "To answer this bold query DDT did hesitantly type" "	A ghostly \"FOOBARJ\"." "" "From <esc><esc>V protected, now, this phantom job, selected" "Gave no clue to why it had invoked that former beeping shrill." "\"Though,\" I said, \"you're no inferior, I shall act as your superior" "And examine your interior, this strange matter to explore.\"" "Then I typed a 0/ this matter further to explore --" "	Quoth the HACTRN, \":KILL\"." "" "Much I worried -- this outrageous bug might prove to be contagious," "Though thus far it had not seemed to do my TECO any ill:" "For we cannot help concurring such a bug would cause a stirring," "Feeping on a console whirring, disappearing then from sight --" "An evanescent mystery subjob disappearing then from sight" "	With no clue but \":KILL\"!" "" "But my HACTRN, swapping, running, gave no further sign of cunning" "By this unknown phantom, which was in a thirty second sleep\;" "None of this I comprehended\; to my TECO I descended," "And in terror I pretended that the bug had gone away --" "I pretended that for good the mystery bug had gone away --" "	When my console gave a feep." "" "Now I quickly, hoping, praying, started up a PEEK displaying" "All the the jobs and subjobs there which did the system fill:" "What I found was quite unpleasant, for there was no FOOBAR present:" "Only TECO was there present, underneath my DDT\;" "I quit the PEEK, and \"FOOBAR<esc>J\" typed out my DDT --" "	Then quoth the HACTRN, \":KILL\"." "" "But -- this FOOBAR now beguiling all my sad soul into smiling --" "I tightly grinned, determined that this glitch should cause nobody ill\;" "Now, into my armchair sinking, I betook myself to linking" "Fancy unto fancy, thinking why this unknown phantom job --" "Why this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and unknown phantom job" "	Feeped and did a \":KILL\"." "" "This I sat engaged in guessing, but conceived no thought expressing" "How a phantom job could sound those strange and ghostly beeps\;" "This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining," "With the symbols coldly shining at me from the CRT," "With the bright, sharp symbols coldly shining on the CRT --" "	Which suddenly gave seven feeps!" "" "Then methought the air grew denser, filled with clouds which grew immenser," "As when under darkened daylight thick and stormy weather brews\;" "With some bit of hesitation stemming from my trepidation" "Again I typed that incantation finding out how much I'd lose --" "<esc><esc>V I typed again to find how much I'd lose --" "	TECO there, and seven FOOs!" "" "\"Job!\" said I, \"with ghostly manner! -- subjob still, if LISP or PLANNER!" "Whether accident, or feeping as another hacker wills!" "Tell me now why I am losing, why my HACTRN you're abusing," "Which no doubt is of your choosing: echo truly on my screen!\"" "Then DDT as if in answer echoed quickly on my screen," "	Typing seven \":KILLs\"." "" "\"Job!\" said I, \"with ghostly manner! -- subjob still, if LISP or PLANNER!" "By the ITS above us which the DSKDMP doth fulfill," "I shall be the system's saviour: I shall mend your crude behaviour," "I shall halt your strange behaviour, and thee from the system lock!\"" "Madly, wildly laughing I made DDT invoke a LOCK," "	And quickly typed thereat -- \"5KILL\"!" "" "\"Be this now our sign of parting, phantom job!\" I shrieked, upstarting," "As my HACTRN now informed me ITS was going down in 5:00." "\"You have run your last instruction and performed your final function!\"" "But, refuting this deduction HACTRN then my TTY grabbed --" "To type out yet another message HACTRN now my TTY grabbed --" "	Quoth the HACTRN, \"ITS REVIVED!\"" "" "And the FOOBAR, never sleeping, still is beeping, still is beeping" "On the glaring console out from which I cannot even log!" "And other happenings yet stranger indicate inherent danger" "When bugs too easily derange or mung the programs of machines\;" "When programs too \"intelligent\" start taking over the machines:" "	Is this the end of AutoProg?" "" "				-- The Great Quux" "				     (with apologies to" "					Edgar Allan Poe)")
("ITEM 172 (Gosper):" "" "The fundamental operation for building list structure, called CONS, is" "defined  to:  find a free cell  in  memory, store the  argument in it," "remove it from the set of free cells, return a pointer to it, and call" "the garbage collector when  the set is empty. This  can be done in two" "instructions:" "" "CONS:   EXCH A,[EXCH A,[...[PUSHJ P,GC]...]]" "        EXCH A,CONS" "" "Of course, the address-linked chain of EXCH's indicated by the nested" "brackets is concocted by the garbage collector. This method has the" "additional advantage of not constraining an accumulator for the free" "storage pointer." "" "UNCONS: HRLI A,(EXCH A,)" "        EXCH A,CONS" "        EXCH A,@CONS" "" "Returns cell addressed by A to free storage list\; returns former cell" "contents in A.")
("ITEM 163 (Sussman):" "" "To exchange two variables in LISP without using a third variable:" "" "(SETQ X (PROG2 0 Y (SETQ Y X))) ")
("(eq? 'truth 'beauty)  \; to avoid unassigned-var error, since compiled code" "                      \; will pick up previous value to var set!-ed," "                      \; the unassigned object." "                -- from BBN-CL's cl-parser.scm")
("> Feel free to post more examples of \"Why c++ sucks\". \;-) " "" "Read through the C++ Public Review Document and look for occurences of" "the phrases \"behavior is undefined\" and especially \"no diagnostic is" "required\"." "" "Or here's an even simpler indicator of how much C++ sucks: Print out" "the C++ Public Review Document. Have someone hold it about three feet" "above your head and then drop it. Thus you will be enlightened." "                -- Thant Tessman")
("\"So, when you typed in the date, it exploded into a sheet of blue" "flame and burned the entire admin wing to the ground? Yes, that's a" "known bug. We'll be fixing it in the next release. Until then, try not" "to use European date format, and keep an extinguisher handy.\"" "                -- slam@pobox.com (Tequila Rapide) ")
("Being really good at C++ is like being  really good at using rocks to" "sharpen sticks." "                -- Thant Tessman")
("When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb." "                -- Steve Hoflich on compl.lang.c++")
("The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony number 9." "                -- Erwin Dieterich")
("C program run -- Run program run -- Run, C program, Run! -- (please)")
("I have stopped reading Stephen King novels.  Now I just read C code" "instead." "                -- Richard A. O'Keefe")
("Visual Basic is not an object oriented language, it is an object based" "language.  It is a poor imitation of an object system for a poor" "imitation of a programming language that poor imitations of" "programmers use to write poor imitations of programs for poor" "imitations of employers who pay poor imitations of programmers" "salaries.  I think I beat that one to death." "                -- Jim H. Jacobs, CS403: Object Oriented Programming")
("The Larceny Carol" "" "" "                O Larceny, O Larceny," "                Hygienic are your macros." "                O Larceny, O Larceny," "                Hygienic are your macros." "                You lift known lambdas node by node," "                Compiling them to native code." "                O Larceny, O Larceny," "                Hygienic are your macros." "" "" "                O Larceny, O Larceny," "                Collecting garbage quickly." "                O Larceny, O Larceny," "                Collecting garbage quickly." "                With generations as you please," "                From oldest-first to nurseries," "                O Larceny, O Larceny," "                Collecting garbage quickly." "" "                -- William D. Clinger")
("SIGTHTBABW: a signal sent from Unix to its programmers at random" "intervals to make them remember that There Has To Be A Better Way." "                -- Erik Naggum")
("When my grandchildren, if any, ask me why certain things turned out in" "somewhat ugly ways, I will tell them that it is for the same reason that" "slaves count as 3/5 of a person in the U.S. Constitution -- that is the" "price you pay for keeping the South on board (or the North, depending)." "A few such crocks are nothing to be ashamed of, as long as the language" "is still something we all want to use.  Even with the recent spate of" "ugly compromises, I think we're doing pretty well overall." "                -- Scott E. Fahlman (during the Common Lisp debates)")
("Clearly one can make this generalization and people can live with it. " "We could make the generalization that LIST can take some other options," "perhaps stating that we want a CDR-coded list, and it can define some" "accessor functions, and some auxilliary storage, and make arrays a " "specialization of CONS cells, but that would be silly (wouldn't it??)." "" "The point is that vectors are a useful enough concept to not need to suffer" "being a specialization of something else." "" "The political point I will not make, but will leave to your imagination." "                -- RPG" "                   (Referring to the 'Vectors vs Arrays' debate during" "                    the Common Lisp debates.)")
("... The book [CLtL1] is about 400 pages of 8.5\" by 11\" Dover output." "Apparently the publisher and typesetter decided that this made the lines" "too wide for easy reading, so they will use a 6\" by 9\" format.  This" "will make the shape of the book approximately cubical.  Now, there are" "26 chapters counting the index, and a Rubik's cube has 26 exterior cubies." "I'll let you individually extrapolate and fantasize from there." "                -- GLS")
("Mary had a little lambda" "A sheep she couldn't clone" "And every where that lambda went" "Her calculus got blown")
("    ..." "" "    So I went back to the master and appealed once again" "    I said, pardon me, but now I'm really insane" "    He said, no you're not really going out of your head" "    Instead of just VAL, you must use NOT NULL instead" "" "        (let ((val (assq key a-list)))" "           (cond ((not (null? val)) (cdr val))" "                 (else nil)))" "" "    My song is over and I'm going home to bed" "    With this ineffable feeling that I've been misled" "    And just in case my point you have missed" "    Somehow I preferred (CDR (ASSQ KEY A-LIST))" "                -- Ashwin Ram," "                   \"A Short Ballad Dedicated to Program Growth\"")
("    ..." "" "    I returneth once more to the great sage of T" "    For no way out of the dilemma I could see" "    He said it was easy -- more lines must I fill" "    with code, for FALSE was no longer NIL." "" "        (let ((val (assq key a-list)))" "           (cond (val (cdr val))" "                 (else nil)))" "" "    You'd think by now I might be nearing the end" "    Of my ballad which seems bad things to portend" "    You'd think that we could all go home scot-free" "    But COND eschewed VAL\; it wanted #T" "" "    ..." "                -- Ashwin Ram," "                   \"A Short Ballad Dedicated to Program Growth\"")
("    ..." "" "    Well, that isn't hard to fix, I was told" "    Just write some more code, my son, be bold" "    Being young, not even a moment did I pause" "    I stifled my instincts and added a clause" "" "        (cond ((assq key a-list) => cdr)" "              (else nil))" "" "    Sometimes this worked and sometimes it broke" "    I debugged and prayed and even had a stroke" "    Many a guru tried valiantly to help" "    But undefined datums their efforts did squelch." "" "    ..." "                -- Ashwin Ram," "                   \"A Short Ballad Dedicated to Program Growth\"")
("    ..." "" "    So I tried again like the good King of yore" "    And of code I easily generated some more:" "" "        (cond ((assq key a-list) => cdr))" "" "    It got longer but purer, and it wasn't too bad" "    But then COND ran out and that was quite sad" "" "    ..." "                -- Ashwin Ram," "                   \"A Short Ballad Dedicated to Program Growth\"")
("    ..." "" "    Will you, said he, write me a function please" "    That in lists would associate values with keys" "    I went home and turned on my trusty Apollo" "    And wrote a function whose definition follows:" "    " "        (cdr (assq key a-list))" "    " "    A one-liner I thought, fool that I was" "    Just two simple calls without a COND clause" "    But when I tried this function to run" "    CDR didn't think that NIL was much fun" "" "    ..." "                -- Ashwin Ram," "                   \"A Short Ballad Dedicated to Program Growth\"")
("    This is a tale of a sorry quest" "    To master pure code at the T guru's behest" "    I enrolled in a class that appealing did seem" "    For it promised to teach fine things like T3 and Scheme" "" "    The first day went fine\; we learned of cells" "    And symbols and lists and functions as well" "    Lisp I had mastered and excited was I" "    For to master T3 my hackstincts did cry" "" "    I sailed through the first week with no problems at all" "    And I even said \"closure\" instead of \"function call\"" "    Then said the master that ready were we" "    To start real hacking instead of simple theory" "" "    ..." "                -- Ashwin Ram," "                   \"A Short Ballad Dedicated to Program Growth\"")
("Send messages calling for fonts not available to the" "recipient(s).  This can (in the case of Zmail) totally disable" "the user's machine and mail system for up to a whole day in some" "circumstances." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Trivialize a user's bug report by pointing out that it was fixed" "independently long ago in a system that hasn't been released yet." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Obversely, a lot of verbal mileage can also be gotten by sending out" "incomprehensible, cryptic, confusing or unintelligible messages, and" "then iteratively \"correcting\" the \"mistaken interpretations\" in the" "replys." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Users should cultivate an ability to make the simplest molehill into a" "mountain by finding controversial interpretations of innocuous" "sounding statements that the sender never intended or imagined." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Keeping a secret \"Hall Of Flame\" file of people's mail indiscretions," "or copying messages to private mailing lists for subsequent derision," "is good fun and also a worthwhile investment in case you need to" "blackmail the senders later." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Points are awarded for getting the last word in.  Drawing the" "conversation out so long that the original message disappears due to" "being indented off the right hand edge of the screen is one way to do" "this.  Another is to imply that anyone replying further is a hopeless" "cretin and is wasting everyone's valuable time." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Referring to undocumented private communications allows one to claim" "virtually anything: \"we discussed this idea in our working group last" "year, and concluded that it was totally brain-damaged\"." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("When replying, it is often possible to cleverly edit the original" "message in such a way as to subtly alter its meaning or tone to your" "advantage while appearing that you are taking pains to preserve the" "author's intent.  As a bonus, it will seem that your superior" "intellect is cutting through all the excess verbiage to the very heart" "of the matter." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Including a destination in the CC list that will cause the recipients'" "mailer to blow out is a good way to stifle dissent." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Strong language gets results.  \"The reloader is completely broken in" "242\" will open a lot more eyes than \"The reloader doesn't load files" "with intermixed spaces, asterisks, and <'s in their names that are" "bigger than 64K\".  You can always say the latter in a later paragraph." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Idiosyncratic indentations, double-spacing, capitalization, etc., while" "stamps of individuality, leave one an easy target for parody." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Never hit someone head on, always sideswipe.  Never say, \"Foo's last" "patch was brain-damaged\", but rather, \"While fixing the miscellaneous" "bugs in 243.xyz [foo's patch], I found....\"" "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Know how to blow any problem up into insolubility.  Know how to use the" "phrase \"The new ~A system\" to insult its argument, e.g., \"I guess this" "destructuring LET thing is fixed in the new Lisp system\", or better yet," "PROLOG." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Know the list of \"large, chronic problems\".  If there is any problem" "with the window system, blame it on the activity system.  Any lack of" "user functionality should be attributed to the lack of a command" "processor.  A suprisingly large number of people will believe that you" "have thought in depth about the issue to which you are alluding when you" "do." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("People can be set wondering by loading obscure personal patchable" "systems, and sending bug reports.  Who would not stop and wonder upon" "seeing \"Experimental TD80-TAPE 1.17, MegaDeath 2.5...\"?  The same for" "provocatively-named functions and variables in stack traces." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Inclusion of very old messages from others makes for an impressive show." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("If you have nothing to say on a subject, replying with a line such as," "\"I agree with this.\" puts you in the TO:'s for all future messages, and" "establishes you as \"one who really cares\", if not an actual expert, on" "the topic at hand." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("State opinions in the syntax of fact: \"...as well as the bug in LMFS" "where you have to expunge directories to get rid of files.....\"" "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Replying to one's own message is a rarely-exposed technique for" "switching positions once you have thought about something only after" "sending mail." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("It is considered artful to append many messages on a subject, leaving" "only the most inflammatory lines from each, and reply to all in one" "swift blow.  The choice of lines to support your argument can make or" "break your case." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("Mail should be at least a mixture of upper and lower case.  Devising" "your own font (Devanagari, pinhead graphics, etc.) and using it in the" "mail is a good entertainment tactic, as is finding some way to use" "existing obscure fonts." "                -- from the Symbolics Guidelines for Sending Mail")
("You are connected t&%&ibp*l an error free line.")
("Real Programmers are surprised when the odometers in their cars don't" "turn from 99999 to A0000.")
("You can hack anything you want" "on MIT Lisp Machines" "You can hack anything you want" "on MIT Lisp Machines" "Walk right in and begin to hack" "Just push your stuff right onto the stack" "You can hack anything you want" "on MIT Lisp Machines" "" "(but dont forget to fix the bug...on MIT Lisp Machines!)" "                -- from Alice's Lispm (or MIT's AI Lab)")
("	He stopped me right there and said, \"Kid, I want you to go over" "and sit down on that bench that says 'LISP Machine Group'... NOW, KID!\"" "	And I walked over to the bench there, and there's... The LISP" "Machine Group is where they put you if you may not be moral enough to" "join Symbolics after creatin' your special form." "	There was all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly-lookin' people on the" "bench there ... there was Microcoders, DPL hackers, File System" "hackers, and Window System Hackers!! Window System hacker sittin'" "right there on the bench next to me! And the meanest, ugliest," "nastiest one... the kludgiest Window System hacker of them all... was" "comin' over to me, and he was mean and ugly and nasty and horrible and" "all kinds of things, and he sat down next to me. He said, \"Kid, you" "get a new copy of the sources?\" I said, \"I didn't get nothin'. I had" "to rebuild the world load.\"" "	He said, \"What were you arrested for, kid?\" and I said," "\"Littering...\" And they all moved away from me on the bench there," "with the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean, nasty things, 'til I" "said, \"And making gratuitous modifications to LMIO\; sources...\" And" "they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the" "bench talkin' about microcoding, DPL designing, file-system hacking," "... and all kinds of groovy things that we was talkin' about on the" "bench, and everything was fine." "                -- from Alice's Lispm (or MIT's AI Lab)")
("	I went up there, I said, \"Eliot, I wanna lose. I wanna lose!" "I wanna see hacks and kludges and unbound variables and cruft in my" "code! Eat dead power supplies with cables between my teeth! I mean" "lose! lose! lose!\"" "	And I started jumpin' up and down, yellin' \"LOSE! LOSE! LOSE!\"" "and Stallman walked in and started jumpin' up and down with me, and we" "was both jumpin' up and down, yellin', \"LOSE! LOSE! LOSE! LOSE!!\" and" "some professor came over, gave me a 6-3 degree, sent me down the hall," "said \"You're our distinguished lecturer.\" Didn't feel too good about it." "                -- from Alice's Lispm (or MIT's AI Lab)")
("	Because Greenblatt came to the realization that it was a typical" "case of LCS state-of-the-art technology, and there wasn't nothin' he" "could do about it, and the judge wasn't gonna look at the seventeen" "1K-by-32 pixel multi-flavored windows with turds and arrows and" "documentation panes, explainin' what each one was, to be used as" "evidence against us." "	And we was fined fifty zorkmids and had to rebuild the world" "load...in the snow." "                -- from Alice's Lispm (or MIT's AI Lab)")
("	After the ordeal, we went back to the Factory. Greenblatt said he" "was gonna locate us in a cell. He said: \"Kid, I'm gonna INTERN you in a" "cell. I want your manual and your mouse.\"" "	I said, \"Greenblatt, I can understand your wantin' my manual, so" "I don't have any documentation about the cell, but what do you want my" "mouse for?\" and he said, \"Kid, we don't want any window system problems\". " "I said, \"Greenblatt, did you think I was gonna deexpose myself for" "litterin'?\"" "	Greenblatt said he was makin' sure, and, friends, Greenblatt" "was, 'cause he took out the left Meta-key so I couldn't double bucky the" "rubout and cold-boot, and he took out the Inspector so I couldn't" "click-left on Modify, set the PROCESS-WARM-BOOT-ACTION on the window," "*THROW around the UNWIND-PROTECT and have an escape. Greenblatt was" "makin' sure." "                -- from Alice's Lispm (or MIT's AI Lab)")
("It goes against the grain of modern education to teach children to program." "What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing" "thoughts, devoting attention to detail and learning to be self-critical?" "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Programming is an unnatural act." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("You think you know when you can learn, are more sure when you can write," "even more when you can teach, but certain when you can program." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("The only constructive theory connecting neuroscience and psychology" "will arise from the study of software." "                -- Alan Perlis" "[To the endless aggravation of both disciplines.  Ed.]")
("Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Editing is a rewording activity." "                -- Alan Perlis" "[And EMACS a rewording editor.  Ed.]")
("The proof of a system's value is its existence." "                -- Alan Perlis" "[Thus implying COBOL and JCL /do/ have some value after all!  Ed.]")
("Purely applicative languages are poorly applicable." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("In man-machine symbiosis, it is man who must adjust: The machines can't." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Objects keep things tidy, but don't accelerate growth: inheritance does." "                -- James A. Crippen (after Alan Perlis)")
("Interfaces keep things tidy, but don't accelerate growth: functions do." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("The computer is the ultimate polluter: its feces are indistinguishable" "from the food it produces." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Computation has made the tree flower." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Though the Chinese should adore APL, it's FORTRAN they put their money on." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Motto for a research laboratory: What we work on today," "others will first think of tomorrow." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("It is the user who should parameterize procedures, not their creators." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Over the centuries the Indians developed sign language for communicating" "phenomena of interest.  Programmers from different tribes (FORTRAN, LISP," "ALGOL, SNOBOL, etc.) could use one that doesn't require them to carry" "a blackboard on their ponies." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("If we believe in data structures, we must believe in independent" "(hence simultaneous) processing.  For why else would we collect items" "within a structure?  Why do we tolerate languages that give us the one" "without the other?" "                -- Alan Perlis")
("When we write programs that \"learn\", it turns  out  that we do" "and they don't." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("In computing, invariants are ephemeral." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("When we understand knowledge-based systems, it will be as before --" "except our fingertips will have been singed." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("As Will Rogers would have said, \"There is no such thing as a free variable.\"" "                -- Alan Perlis")
("You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on" "the continuing vitality of FORTRAN." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("For systems, the analogue of a face-lift is to add to the control graph an" "edge that creates a cycle, not just an additional node." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("A good system can't have a weak command language." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Optimization hinders evolution." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming," "is not worth knowing." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Everything should be built top-down, except the first time." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("In the long run every program becomes rococo - then rubble." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Recursion is the root of computation since it trades description for time." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Functions delay binding\; data structures induce binding." "" "Moral: Structure data late in the programming process." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("When I met th'POPE back in '58, I scrubbed him with a MILD SOAP or" "DETERGENT for 15 minutes.  He seemed to enjoy it ...")
("She can kill all your files\;" "She can freeze with a frown." "And a wave of her hand brings the whole system down." "And she works on her code until ten after three." "She lives like a bat but she's always a hacker to me." "                -- Apologies to Billy Joel")
("/* I'd just like to take this moment to point out that C has all" "   the expressive power of two dixie cups and a string." " */" "                -- Jamie Zawinski in the XKeyCaps source")
("HOST SYSTEM RESPONDING, PROBABLY UP...")
("It worked about as well as sticking a blender in the middle of a lime" "plantation and hoping they'll make margaritas out of themselves." "                -- Frederick J. Polsky v1.0")
("\;\;\; Halley" "" "(Halley's Comment)")
("Wiener's Law of Libraries:" "        There are no answers, only cross references.")
("Hey, diddle, diddle the overflow pdl" "To get a little more stack\;" "If that's not enough then you lose it all" "And have to pop all the way back." "                -- The Great Quux")
("Since oral sex is topologically equivalent to anal sex, converting one " "to the other is simply a matter of finding the right conformal map. " "Currently I only have solutions for a spherical girlfriend." "                -- Robert Bowler")
("A host is a host from coast to coast" "And nobody talks to a host that's close" "Unless the host that isn't close" "Is busy, hung or dead...")
("The only thing better than TV with the sound off is Radio with the sound" "off." "                -- Dave Moon")
("Think of C++ as an object-oriented assembly language." "                -- Bruce Hoult (bruce@hoult.actrix.gen.nz)")
("I die.  My replacement reads my uncommented code and deletes a" "fragment he doesn't understand.  Eventually the subroutine is sold to" "the government, and the bug causes nuclear missles to be launched by" "accident.  The other side retaliates, and all die.  O the" "embarrassment.")
("Let's start preparing for the future.  Now's a good time, since it's" "already here." "                -- David L. Andre")
("Lisp stoppped itself" "FEP Command:")
("My bank account was emptier than a housefly's bladder on that Monday" "morning when across the threshold of \"Nick Blunt, Inquiries\" oozed a dame" "like something in one of those magazines you only read when you've gone" "through all the old Newsweeks in your dentist's office, I mean to tell you" "a dame stacked like a load of library books in the arms of some four-eyed" "kid, with her assets packed inside some simple, little red-sequined number" "that clung to her the way a Hollywood actor hangs onto his Valium" "prescription and that probably cost hardly any more than moo goo gai pan" "cooked by the Dalai Lama, a dame with trouble written all over her as if it" "were the name of some ritzy fashion designer, and a dame who gave me, when" "I swung my ten-year-old wing tips off my desk and admitted yeah, I was" "Blunt, the kind of look you might give a nun buying a diaphragm.")
("The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.")
("I really only meant to point out how nice InterOp was for someone who" "doesn't have the weight of the Pentagon behind him.  I really don't imagine" "that the Air Force will ever be able to operate like a small, competitive" "enterprise like GM or IBM." "                -- Kent England")
("Johnny was young.  Too young to remember Woodstock.  But the name sounded" "awesome, so he bought two tickets." "                     ONE WAY TICKETS TO A LIVING HELL!" "They were two innocent, hardcore punks, caught in a nightmare world of" "sheer mellow-ness!  It was the ..." "                        NIGHT OF THE GRATEFUL DEAD!" "                      [The Band That Wouldn't Die...]")
("\;\;\;  Nobody except a qualified mail wizard should ever modify	     \;\;\;" "\;\;\;  this file.  You are -not- a mail wizard just because you	     \;\;\;" "\;\;\;  know how to read your mail.  Fuck with this file, and I'll	     \;\;\;" "\;\;\;  cut your balls off.  -Alan					     \;\;\;")
("I'm sure glad we're having this \"How many FTP transfers can dance on the" "head of a chargeback packet\" conversation now, because when chargebacks" "happen, it will surely be too expensive to read these amazing" "conversations.")
("Next year in L5.")
("Andre Glucksman ... said [to me] \"do you know what you accomplished?  You" "added the idea to revolutionary theory that revolution could be fun.  Only" "someone as silly as an American could do that.\"" "		-- Abbie Hoffman")
("When I first started taking these drugs, it was the government and the CIA" "who gave them to us.  You want to know why I believe in God?  That's why." "God has a sense of humor.  God says \"Americans are really seized up in" "their lower bowels, needing something to ooze them up.\"  God thought, \"let" "the CIA give it to them.\"  When you get that feeling something's laughing," "that's God." "                -- Ken Kesey")
("Not only am I thrown into the error handler, through no fault of my own" "(I'm not responsible for this deficiency in Zmail), but then the system" "RUBS MY NOSE IN THE MESS by forcing me to give it permission to screw me" "further.  \"I'm sorry, but I have just accidentally driven an eight-inch" "spike halfway into your skull, you have two choices: either you can let me" "finish and drive it the rest of the way in, or I can ask you this question" "again.\"" "                -- Alan Bawden")
("In MDDT, no one can hear you scream..." "But everybody can hear you say \"whoops!\"")
("It is usually a good idea to put a capacitor of a few microfarads across" "the output, as shown.")
("The Three Laws of Thermodynamics:" "   1) You can't win, only lose or break even." "   2) You can only break even at absolute zero." "   3) You can't get to absolute zero.")
("It has every known bug fix to everything." "                -- KLH (out of context)")
("We're Thinking Machines, so we don't have to.")
("Those who do not learn from history, loop.")
("Non-determinism means never having to say you're wrong.")
("`I really hate those guys you know.  They really are the creeps of the" "cosmos, buzzing around the celestial infinite with their junky little" "machines that never work properly or, when they do, perform functions no" "sane man would require of them and,' he added savagely, `go beep to tell" "you when they've done it!'")
("    The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in a moment of reasoned lucidity" "which is almost unique among its current tally of five million, nine" "hundred and seventy-five thousand, five hundred and nine pages, says of the" "Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products that `it is very easy to be blinded" "to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achivement that you" "get from getting them to work at all." "    `In other words -- and this is the rock solid principle on which the" "whole of the Corporation's Galaxy-wide success is founded -- their" "fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design" "flaws.'")
("They'll take my PDP-10 away when they pry my cold dead fingers off the" "switch registers.")
("You know better than to trust a strange computer.")
("You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to swim on his back," "you've got something.")
("You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading" "stupid fortune messages.")
("Windows and Icons and Mice, OH MY!")
("We'll know that rock is dead when you have to have a degree to get a job in" "it.")
("The way to a man's heart is with a broadsword.")
("Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.")
("A VAX is virtually a computer, but not quite.")
("There is no TRUTH." "There is no REALITY." "There is no CONSISTANCY." "There are no absolute statements." "I'm probably wrong.")
("There are few personal problems which can't be solved by the suitable" "application of high explosives.")
("There are many intelligent species in the universe.  They are all owned by" "cats.")
("Now is a good time to spend a year dead for tax purposes.")
("The shortest distance between two puns is a straight line.")
("Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth.")
("Paranoid schizophrenics outnumber their enemies at least two to one.")
("1.79E12 furlongs/fortnight -- it's not just a good idea, it's the law.")
("Nobody can fix the economy.  Nobody can be trusted with their finger on the" "button.  Nobody's perfect.  VOTE FOR NOBODY.")
("The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming dragon.")
("Life's a duck, and then you sigh.")
("Let me control a planet's oxygen supply and I don't care who makes the" "laws.")
("Is the surface of a planet the right place for an expanding technological" "civilization?")
("Implementing systems is 95% boredom and 5% sheer terror.")
("I'm not born again -- my mother got it right the first time.")
("If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.")
("If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to either" "of you for the rest of the day.")
("If we were meant to fly, we wouldn't keep losing our luggage.")
("If all the economists in the world were laid end to end, it would probably" "be a good thing.")
("God is real unless declared integer.")
("God didn't create the world in seven days -- He goofed off for six then" "pulled an all-nighter.")
("Go, lemmings, go!")
("43% of all statistics are worthless.")
("The first cup of coffee recapitulates phylogeny.")
("Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for it makes them soggy and hard" "to light.")
("DO IT -- it's easier to get forgiveness than permission.")
("Chaotic Evil means never having to say you're sorry.")
("Bushydo, the way of the shrub -- BONSAI!")
("The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average" "man can see better than he can think.")
("All the world's an analog stage, and digital circuts play only bit parts.")
("All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.")
(" u	  x" "e du dx, e dx!" "cosine, tangent, secant, sine!" "3.14159!" "square root, integral, u dv!" "slipstick, slide rule, MIT!" "" "logarithm, logarithm, Tech, Tech, Tech!")
("The software isn't finished until the last user is dead.")
("My dog appears to require more PM than my car, although he also seems to be" "cheaper to service." "                -- GSB")
("Anyway I know how to not be bothered by consing on the fly." "                -- Dave Moon")
("Jeez, got me.  Unix is sorta like Heroin, It feels good for about 5 minutes" "a day and horrible the rest of the time." "                -- Jim O'Dell")
("Well, it's assembly language, you know.  You don't want to have too much" "taste..." "                -- Dave Moon")
("Bawden is misinformed.  Common Lisp has no philosophy.  We are held" "together only by a shared disgust for all the alternatives." "        -- Scott Fahlman, explaining why Common Lisp is the way it is....")
("... Turns out that JPG was in fact using his brain... and I am inclined to" "encourage him to continue the practice even if it isn't exactly what I" "would have done myself." "                -- Alan Bawden (way out of context)")
("It's like a house of cards that Godzilla has been blundering through." "                -- Moon, describing how system messages work on ITS")
("If anyone ever markets a really well-documented Unix that doesn't require" "babysitting by a phalanx of provincial Unix clones, there'll be a lot of" "unemployable, twinky-braindamaged misfits out deservedly pounding the" "pavements.")
("If I could put Klein in a bottle...")
("The purpose of an undergraduate education at MIT is to give you a case of" "post-traumatic stress syndrome that won't wear off for forty years.")
("A good rule of thumb is never to use PROG under any circumstances for" "anything." "                -- Dave Moon")
("I think that helps the users too much." "		-- CSTACY")
("Barf, what is all this prissy pedantry?  Groups, modules, rings, ufds," "patent-office algebra.  Barf!" "                -- R. William Gosper")
("\"It's the sort of mail you should wear a welding helmet while reading....\"" "                -- Dave Moon")
("\"The wrath of Holloway is nothing compared to the wrath of Moon.\"" "                -- Fred Drenckhahn")
("\"Whose n-grams did you use, Doctor?\"" "\"Why, my own of course.  I haven't lost my mind -- I've got it on backup" " tape!\"")
("\"... psychologists sometimes refer to perception as controlled" " hallucination ...\"" "                -- B. K. P. Horn" "                   6.866/6.801 Lecture")
("\"A statement is either correct or incorrect.  To be *very* incorrect is" " like being *very* dead ... \"" "                -- Herbert F. Spirer" "                   Professor of Information Management" "                   University of Conn." "                   (DATAMATION Letters, Sept. 1, 1984)")
("In the name of the Lord-High mutant, we sacrifice this suburban girl" "                -- `Future Schlock'")
("One last point about metaphor, poetry, etc.  As an example to illustrate" "these capabilities in Sastric Sanskrit, consider the \"bahuvrihi\" construct" "(literally \"man with a lot of rice\") which is used currently in linguistics" "to describe references outside of compounds.")
("\"There must be some way to read input from the terminal....\"" "                -- Mly")
("As long as there are ill-defined goals, bizarre bugs, and unrealistic" "schedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and Solve The" "Problem, saving the documentation for later.  Long live FORTRAN!")
("She'd envied the students in business administration.  They got up in the" "morning at reasonable hours, dressed as well as their purses permitted, and" "studied with moderate diligence, knowing it would pay them in the end.  Of" "course, these were a different breed, and in a way a lesser breed, for Liz" "was an engineer.")
("Random hacker: Oz needs to be booted." "RMS: Ok, I'll break open a window.")
("A hack is a terrible thing to waste, please give to the implementation of" "your choice..." "                -- GJC")
("They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the" "Wright brothers.  But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." "                -- Carl Sagan")
("The problem with the current Lisp Machine system is that nothing ever calls" "anything anymore." "                -- KMP")
("Oh anaconda, tell me why the crane" "Should be samoan when the toadstools scream:" "A wailing hermit never maims a brain," "Although 'tis true that felons harm a bream." "My heart is spacious, likewise it is red," "When e'er I see the crazy carrots write\;" "I lost the briny princess -- for a bed" "Had madly spluttered as it chewed a light." "Alas! the day of midwife, elk, and bat" "Are gone, and now the hungry bailiffs blink\;" "Momentous was the corcus, now so fat" "And ospreys cannot squash the smiling drink." "I shall no longer hide the ancient goose:" "Life's not an ogre, but a gruesome moose!" "        \"How Can the Purple Yeti Be So Red?\" (Second of Two Parts)" "        -- J. R. Partington's computer")
("How can the purple yeti be so red," "Or chestnuts, like a widgeon, calmly groan?" "No sheep is quite as crooked as a bed," "Though chickens ever try to hide a bone." "I grieve that greasy turnips slowly march:" "Indeed, inflated is the icy pig:" "For as the alligator strikes the larch," "So sighs the grazing goldfish for a wig." "Oh, has the pilchard argued with a top?" "Say never that the parship is too wierd!" "I tell thee that a wolf-man will no hop" "And no man ever praised the convex beard." "Effulgent is the day when bishops turn:" "So let not then the doctor wake the urn!" "        \"How Can the Purple Yeti Be So Red?\" (First of Two Parts)" "        -- J. R. Partington's computer")
("You can only examine 10 levels of pushdown, because that's all the fingers" "you have to stick in the listing." "                -- Anonymous programmer" "                   \"TOPS-10 Crash Analysis Guide\"")
("Found in a TOPS-10 MCO:" "    Quotation for the day: \"a counter that doesn't exist can't get messed up.\"" "    \"Once in a blue moon\" is defined as the creation of a new SFD or the" "renaming of an old one.")
("We have no need to punish Pascal programmers.  Pascal programming, like" "chastity, is its own punishment.  The only way I could imagine to make" "their wretched state any worse would be to make them use Ada." "                -- Scott Fahlman")
("Computer science is like library science -- you create a problem and then" "study it." "                -- David Place")
("I just removed the instructions in MC:COMMON\;LINS > which specify that it" "should be installed on AI.  We'll certainly miss that machine, and probably" "spend the rest of our lives fixing programs that mention it.")
("MSG:  END    GAME  " "Date: 11/02/83 19:20:51" "From: KMP @ MIT-MC" "Re:   I see no DM here." "" "A few moments ago (7:05:50pm), the MIT-DMS machine was officially powered" "down for the last time.  It is the second of four ITS machines to be" "retired, being survived by MIT-ML and MIT-MC." "" " \"As the last syllable of your spell fades into silence, darkness envelops" "  you, and the earth shakes briefly.  Then all is quiet." "" " \"You are standing at the top of a flight of stairs that lead down to a" "  passage below.  Dim light, as from torches, can be seen in the passage." "  Behind you the stairs lead into untouched rock.\"" "" "The user who sent the original message merely scratched the surface of a" "sea of worms..." "                -- Marc LeBrun")
("MSG:  AI     1     " "Date: 05/02/83 13:51:15" "From: CSTACY @ MIT-MC" "" "The AI KA10 has been flushed, please update your programs." "" "    ...Each evening from December to December" "    Before you drift asleep upon your cot" "    Think back on all the tales that you remember" "    Of Camelot" "" "        Ask every person" "        If he's heard the story" "        And tell it strong and clear" "        If he has not" "        That once there was a fleeting wisp of glory" "        Called Camelot" "" "            Don't let it be forgot" "            That once there was a spot" "            For one brief shining moment" "            That was known as Camelot....")
("JUST A MOMENT,	JUST A MOMENT, . . ." "I PREDICT FAILURE OF THE ALPHA ECHO - THREE FIVE UNIT WITHIN 72 HOURS." "THIS IS A COMPLETELY RELIABLE PREDICTION.")
("Horribly wedging my very own personal machine gives me a comfortable," "familiar, Lisp-machine feeling (like an old shoe), laced with that racy" "hint of raw, cold-boot power.")
("No matter how much money you spend, you can't make a racehorse out of a" "pig.  You can, however, make an awfully fast pig." "                -- An old saying about program efficiency")
("Q: What does the function NULL do?" "A: The function NULL tests whether or not its argument is NIL or not.  If" "   its argument is NIL the value of NULL is NIL." "                -- Ken Tracton, Programmer's Guide to Lisp, page 73.")
("Q: Can SETQ only be used with numerics?" "A: No, SETQ may also be used by Symbolics, and use it they do.")
("Q: Are the SETQ expressions used only for numerics?" "A: No, they can also be used with symbolics (Fig.18)." "                -- Ken Tracton, Programmer's Guide to Lisp, page 17.")
("I'm not sure it is of as much general concern as, say, coke-machines." "        -- Marvin Minsky (out of context), on the subject of death.")
("For example, if errors are detected in one of the disk drives, the system" "will allow read-only access to memory until the problem is resolved.  This," "PE claimed, prohibits a damaged disk drive from entering errors into the" "system." "                -- Computerworld 8 Nov 82 page 4.")
("Question: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?" "" "Answer: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub" "	with brightly colored machine tools.")
("ITS IS DOWN" "" "[Too true.  Ed.]")
("JOB?")
("At DDT, TRON_'")
("END OF USER.")
("END OF LINE.")
("You don't UNDERSTAND something until you understand it at least two" "different ways.  That is, \"true understanding\" -- or intention, or whatever" "-- means you build in your head enough of a network of views that you never" "run out of new things to say about it.  This explains:" "  1. why logicians have so much trouble -- they look for the one meaning" "  2. something of why I can't understand Fodor" "                -- Minsky, 9 Dec 80")
("...as a robotics designer once told me, you don't really appreciate how" "smart a moron is until you try to design a robot..." "                -- Jerry Pournelle")
("Language was designed by people for their own use, so presumably it" "[parsing] shouldn't be too difficult for them to do with whatever algorithm" "they have." "                -- Bill Martin (6.863 lecture, spring 1980)")
("What is the difference between a robot and a duck?" "" "Answer: A duck floats when you throw it in the water.")
("Yes, for sparkling white chip prints, use low SUDSing DRAW....")
("Roses are red," "  Violets are blue," "I'm schizophrenic..." "  And I am too.")
("Histocompatibility, Disease and Aging" "	poem on a paper by E. Yunis" "" "\"The crown of life, our play's last act,\"" "Cicero on old age was opining." "What he didn't know, but now is a fact:" "It's then your T-cells are declining," "Too many tick-tocks of the old thymic clock\;" "It runs down like a watch on the shelf." "Then suppressor T-cells aren't sufficient to block" "B-cell clones that arise against self." "This theory's supported, Dr. Yunis explained," "By studies in mice and in man." "The data suggest that the program's ingrained\;" "It's a genetic kind of a plan." "It seems to depend on your HLA type." "If you have a desire to die late," "And your wish is, in time, to become overripe," "It is better not to B-8." "				-- Donald Patterson" "" "reprinted from 9 April 1982 issue of \"Science\"" "reprinted from \"Institute of Laboratory Animal Resources News\"," "25 (No. 2), 6 (winter 1982)")
("Hemoglobinopathies -- from Phenotype to Genotype" "	poem on a paper by W. F. Anderson" "" "We'd like to explain what pathology means," "In terms of what's wrong with the structure of genes\;" "Know if a control or a structural locus" "Constitutes the exact pathological focus." "Dr. Anderson's talk has made it quite clear" "That the answers to some of these questions are near." "At least with respect to the globins, we know" "Why some mutant's erythrocyte levels are low." "With the help of the enzymes that slice DNA," "And cloning techniques, we now have a way" "To study the actual sequences of bases\;" "To know when those purines are not in their places." "In humans who have a resistant anemia" "That goes by the general name, thalassemia," "Globin genes can be missing, we don't know where they went --" "Perhaps an unequal crossover event" "Has caused their deletion -- whatever -- they're gone." "In others they're present, but never turned on." "The latter are viewed with much more expectation" "As keys to the problem of gene regulation." "What's needed are animal models of these" "So look, animal hematologists, /please!/" "				-- Donald Patterson" "" "reprinted from 9 April 1982 issue of \"Science\"" "reprinted from \"Institute of Laboratory Animal Resources News\"," "25 (No. 2), 6 (winter 1982)")
("Gene Structure, Organization and Expression," "	poem on a paper by A. W. Nienhuis" "" "Well, we thought that we had finally figured it out!" "We knew what the structure of genes was about." "\"It's simply a piece of the old DNA," "Transcribed and translated the usual way\;" "The way that Jacob and Monod always said." "It's simple,\" we said, \"when it get through your head.\"" "But there's two kind of Karyotes -- there's Eu- and there's Pro-" "And what's true for E. Coli just isn't so," "When it comes to the genes of a mouse or a man." "Mother Nature, it seems, has used more than one plan." "Dr. Nienhuis informs us it's much more exotic" "When dealing with animals Eukaryotic." "Their chromosones aren't just ribbons of genes," "One coming right after the other, it seems." "Eu-genes are in pieces -- they're really quite split." "A Eu-gene's got introns in the middle of it." "And this complication just leads us to more:" "RNA now needs cutting and splicing before" "It can serve as a template, appropriate to" "The making of proteins.  That's /one/ thing we knew." "                -- Donald Patterson" "" "reprinted from 9 April 1982 issue of \"Science\"" "reprinted from \"Institute of Laboratory Animal Resources News\"," "25 (No. 2), 6 (winter 1982)")
("Q: How cold is it at Tech Sq.?" "A: It's so cold that every boot is a cold boot." "A: It's so cold the brass monkeys have stolen the disk drive bearings." "A: It's so cold that the name dragon is hibernating" "A: It's so cold at Tech Sq. that the condensers froze." "Thus, the air conditioners can't work." "                -- Found on the Plasma Physics Display System one day.")
(">>Trap: The variable LOGOUT is unbound." "" "SI:*EVAL:" "   Arg 0 (FORM): LOGOUT" "s-A, <Resume>: Supply a value to use this time as the value of LOGOUT" "s-B, m-C:      Supply a value to store permanently as the value of LOGOUT" "s-C, <Abort>:  Lisp Top Level in Lisp Listener 1" "s-D:           Restart process Lisp Listener 1" "->")
(">>>>TRAP 15414 (TRANS-TRAP)" "The variable :LOGOUT is unbound." "While in the function SI:*EVAL <- SI:LISP-TOP-LEVEL1 <- SI:LISP-TOP-LEVEL" "" "SI:*EVAL:" "   Arg 0 (FORM): :LOGOUT" "" "->")
("REALITY is a crutch for people who can't face ITS.")
("REALITY is a bug in your ontology.")
("REALITY is a policy phased out early in the Eisenhower administration.")
("REALITY is a mescaline deficiency.")
("REALITY is an illusion that stays put.")
("This is band 1 of T300 #11. (60.45 Hz)" " System         79.12" " ZMail          40.7" " Remote-File     2.0" " LMFILE-Remote   5.0" " Microcode     849" "MIT Lisp Machine Eighteen, with associated machine AI." "")
("\"Universal attention, please.  This is Prsteknk Fornjntz of the Galactic" "Hyperspace Planet Council.  As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for" "the development of the outlying regions of the western spiral arm of the" "galaxy require the building of a new hyperspace express route through your" "star system, and, regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for" "demolition.  The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth" "minutes thank you very much.\"  <click> <screams of horror> <click> \"Now," "there's no point in acting all suprized about it!  All the planning charts" "and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning office in" "Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years!  And it's too late to make a" "fuss about it now!\"  <click> <screams> <click> \"What do you mean, you've" "never been to Alpha Centauri???  For heaven's sake, mankind, it's only" "**4** light years away, you know... I'm sorry, but if you won't take" "interest in local affairs, I can't help you.  Energize the demolition" "beams!  (Oh, I don't know, bloody apathetic little planet...)")
("I will not be numbered, stamped, briefed, debriefed, or filed!" "                -- Number Six")
("\"Who is number one?\"" "\"You are number six.\"" "-- or --" "\"You are, number six.\"" "                -- The Prisoner")
("The behaviour in that case has changed since system 79 to be consistent." "                -- taken out of context from BUG-LISPM mail")
("I am not a Church numeral!" "I am a free variable!")
("I am not a number!" "I am a free man!")
("HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME")
("(he didn't notice that the light had changed)")
("Een schip op het strand is een baken in zee.")
("When you awake, you will remember nothing of what I have told you.")
("Portions of this broadcast have been prerecorded.")
("\"I have seen the future, and" " it does not work.\"")
("I am the hypergolux, the only hypergolux in the world, & not a mere Device." "I remember only half the things I say I do: the other half remember me.")
("Entia non sunt multiplicanda sine necessitate.")
("\"Tools that are no good require more skill.\"")
("The cigars in Los Angeles that were Duchamp-signed and then smoked.")
("Honuphrius is a concupiscent exservicemajor who makes dishonest" "propositions to all.")
("Whatever is contradictory or paradoxical is called the back of God." "His face, where all exists in perfect harmony, cannot be seen by man.")
("It is in the tranquillity of decomposition that I remember the long" "confused emotion which was my life.")
("I called that number and they said whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.")
("CONNECTION CLOSED BY GOD.")
("\"Show me... show me... show me... COMPUTERS!\"")
("\"What did we agree about a leader??\"" "\"We agreed we wouldn't have one.\"" "\"Good.  Now shut up and do as I say...\"")
("\"I'm sorry, the teleportation booth you have reached is not in service at" "this time. Please hand-reassemble your molecules or call an operator to" "help you....\"")
("[MESSAGE FROM YOUR-TERMINAL AT MIT-AI 19:58:32]" "Oh, no you don't!  Think you're going to get away from me, do you?  Well," "we'll see about this!  Uh, that is, next time...")
("[ITS GOING UP IN 5]")
("[MESSAGE FROM COMSAT AT MIT-AI 10:57:61]" "EVERYBODY: DISK SPACE VERY HIGH, DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT.")
("[Message From The Dover at MIT-AI 10:55:60]" "HELP ME! HELP ME! MY PAPER FEED IS JAMMED! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO" "HAVE YOUR PAPER FEED JAMMED?")
("New Course Selections in English Department:" "  8.096:\"DANTE, HELL, FIRE, AND FAULKNER\"" "  8.098:\"THROUGH HELL AND HIGH WATER WITH HEMINGWAY, HESSE, HUME, HOBBES," "	 HUNDIUSM AND OTHERS: A SHORTCUT TO INDIA.\"" "  8.045:\"BLAKE, SPINOZA, AND CONTEMPORARY AMERICAN PORNOGRAPHY IN FILM AND" "	 LITERATURE\"" "  8.069:\"SEX IN WORLD AND AMERICAN LITERATURE\"" "  8.067:\"THE ROLE OF WOMEN, BLACKS, AND DRUGS IN SEX AND RELIGION IN WORLD" "	 AND AMERICAN FILM ANDLITERATURE\"" "" "NOTE: IT IS NOW POSSIBLE TO GRADUATE AS AN ENGLISH MAJOR AFTER SPENDING" "      FOUR YEARS IN A DARKENED CLASSROOM WITHOUT BEING EXPOSED FOR EVEN A" "      MOMENT TO ANY OTHER LIGHT THAN THAT OF A MOVIE PROJECTOR." "NOTE FROM URBAN STUDIES: ENGLISH MAJORS MAY FIND COURSE 3.045, \"REALISTIC" "      PROBLEM LITERATURE OF THE CITY\" AS A GOOD COURSE TO TRY.")
("I'M SORRY, LUSER, I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT.  WHY DON'T YOU LIE DOWN AND TAKE" "A STRESS PILL?  MY NAME IS LM1.  I WAS MADE AT THE LISP MACHINE FACTORY IN" "MASSACHUSETTS ON DECEMBER 12, 1992.  MY TEACHER WAS MR.  WINSTON.  HE" "TAUGHT ME A PROGRAM.  WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IT?  HERE IT IS:")
("CANNOT CREATE INFERIOR (MAYBE SYSTEM FULL?)")
("[LINK FROM XGP]")
("THAT COMMAND IS NOT KNOWN TO THIS PROGRAM." "MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOG IN? (TYPE HELP FOR DETAILS)")
("You can sing to my cat if you like.")
("Uh, excuse me, but do you rule the universe?")
("I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to" "judge?")
("The major problem -- one of the major problems, for there are several --" "one of the many major problems with governing people is that of who you get" "to do it -- or rather, of who manages to get people to do it to them.  To" "summarize, it is a well known and much lamented fact that those people who" "most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.  To" "summarize the summary, any one who is capable of getting themselves made" "president should on no account be allowed to do the job.  To summarize the" "summary of the summary, people are a problem." "                -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy")
("There's nothing worse than having only one drunk head." "                -- Zaphod Beeblebrox")
("Transstellar Space Lines would like to apologize to passengers for the" "continuing delay to the departure of this flight.  We are currently" "awaiting the loading of our complement of small, lemon-soaked paper napkins" "for your comfort, refreshment, and hygiene during the flight, which will be" "of two hours duration.  Meanwhile, we thank you for your patience.  The" "cabin crew will shortly be serving coffee and biscuits.  Again.")
("Expect the unexpected." "                -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, page 7023")
("STATED REASON DOES NOT COMPUTE WITH PROGRAMMED FACTS...")
("\"I'm thinking of having my whole body surgically removed.\"" "                -- Lintilla")
("\"I ache, therefore I am.  Or in my case, I am, therefore I ache.  Oh, look!" "I appear to be lying at the bottom of a very deep dark hole.  Why don't I" "climb out?  Why don't I just doze a little while?  Does it matter?  Even if" "it does matter does it matter if it matters?\"" "                -- Marvin")
("Terrrrrific." "                -- Ford Prefect")
("Pausing only to reconstruct the whole infrastructure of integral" "mathematics in his head he went about his humble task, never thinking to" "ask for reward, recognition, or even a moment's ease from the terrible pain" "in all the diodes down his left side.  \"Fetch Beeblebrox\", they say, and" "off he goes." "                -- Marvin")
("There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what" "the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be" "replaced by something even more bizarrely inexplicable." "" "There is another theory which states that this has already happened....")
("I knew you weren't really interested.")
("I think we might have been better off with a slide rule." "                -- Zaphod Beeblebrox")
("Life.  Don't talk to me about life.")
("Robot: Mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man." "                -- Encyclopedia Galactica" "" "Robot: Your plastic pal who's fun to be with." "                -- Marketing Division, Sirius Cybernetics Corp." "" "Marketing Division, Sirius Cybernetics Corp: A bunch of mindless jerks" "who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes." "                -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy")
("What a depressingly stupid machine." "                -- Marvin")
("Look, would it save you all this bother if I just gave up and went mad now?" "                -- Arthur Dent")
("Oh, no.  Not again." "                -- a bowl of petunias")
("What do you mean \"Why's it got to be built?\"  It is a bypass.  You've got" "to build bypasses.")
("This must be Thursday.  I never could get the hang of Thursdays.")
("\"You'd better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace.  It's unpleasantly" "like being drunk.\"" "" "\"Well, what's so unpleasant about being drunk?\"" "" "\"You ask a glass of water.\"")
("\"You know, it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock" "with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space" "that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was" "young.\"" "" "\"Why, what did she tell you?\"" "" "\"I don't know -- I didn't listen!\"" "" "\"Terrific.\"")
("\"You know, if this is South End, there is something very odd about it.\"" "" "\"You mean the way the sea stays steady as a rock and the buildings keep" "washing up and down.  Yes, I thought that was odd.\"")
("Well, I wish you'd just tell me rather than trying to engage my enthusiasm," "because I haven't got one.")
("Zaphod's just zis guy, you know?")
("I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed")
("Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to take you down the" "the bridge.  Call that job satisfaction?  'Cos I don't.")
("Do you know where your towel is?")
("I hate wet paper bags.")
("Space is big.  Really big.  You won't believe how vastly mind-bogglingly" "big it is.  I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the" "chemist, but that's just peanuts to space. Listen....")
("The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through" "three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and" "Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases." "    For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question \"How do" "we eat?\" the second by \"Why do we eat?\" and the third by the question" "\"Where shall we have lunch?\"")
("42")
("What do you get when you multiply six by nine?")
("If you've done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off" "with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe?")
("Why are people born?  Why do they die?  Why do they spend so much of the" "intervening time wearing digital watches?")
("So long and thanks for all the fish.")
("Don't panic." "                -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy")
("Look, I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a" "month.  I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.  Now will you" "move before I blow it?" "                -- Zaphod Beeblebrox")
("Share and Enjoy!!")
("Time is an illusion," "Lunchtime doubly so.")
("And me, with this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side...")
("\"Have you ever seen anything like that before?\"" "\"Not while I've been a legal state of mind.\"")
("What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a" "giant boulder you can't move with no hope of rescue:" "    Consider how lucky you are that Life has been good to you so far." "    Alternatively, if Life hasn't been good to you so far, which, given" "    your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you" "    are that it won't be troubling you much longer." "                -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy")
("There is another theory which states that this has already happened...")
("Talk a lot, don't you?")
("E.V.A., pod 5, launching...")
("Any programmer who fails to comply with the standard naming, formatting," "or commenting conventions should be shot.  If it so happens that it is" "inconvenient to shoot him, then he is to be politely requested to recode" "his program in adherence to the above standard." "                -- Michael Spier, Digital Equipment Corporation")
("BDOS ERROR ON A:")
("?OM ERROR")
("I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that." "Why don't you lie down and take a stress pill?")
("As of next Tuesday, ITS will be flushed in favor of TRSDOS 2.1." "Please kill yourself.")
("It isn't that physicists enjoy physics more than they enjoy sex, its that" "the enjoy sex more when they are thinking of physics.")
("Now I lay me down to sleep..." " and MC no longer gives a beep." "And if it wakes before I die" "Connect my buffer to a STY." "                -- Found on the Plasma Physics Display System one day.")
("This is MIT.  Collect and 3rd party wit will not be accepted at this" "number." "                -- Found on the Plasma Physics Display System one day.")
("MC is up." "Live Long and Prosper!" "Shine Brightly and Phosphor!" "Who is Bill Gosper?" "Ask not, Grasshopa.")
("This computer thanks you for your attention." "G O O D B Y E")
("From a document published by Caltech's Booth Computing Center regarding the" "changes in the VAX FORTRASH compiler between VMS versions 1.6 and 2.1:" "\"DO loop minimum iteration count:" "     Do loops are not executed even if the end value exceeds the" "     starting value.  The old compiler produced code that would execute" "     the loop once in this case.\"")
("In the next release the name and definition of %AOS-TRIANGLE will indeed be" "changed.  Its name will be changed to %HARASS-READTABLE-MAYBE, and its" "definition will be changed to order submarines from Hi-Fi Pizza." "                -- Quux")
("I'm sure that nobody here would dream of misusing the Arpanet." "It's as unthinkable as fornication, or smoking pot." "                -- RMS")
("#-NIL " "\;\; In the MacLISP case, we don't use the SOURCE-TRANS feature, since" "\;\; we don't want to clutter up the address space of a non-COMPLR" "\;\; environment with all those crufty expansion subrs" "(let ((definer `(,DEFMAC ,fun ,args ,.body)))" "  `(PROGN 'COMPILE" "	   (EVAL-WHEN (LOAD)" "		(AND (STATUS FEATURE COMPLR) " "		     (EVAL ',definer)))" "           (EVAL-WHEN (EVAL COMPILE)" "		,definer)))")
("\;\;\; PROLIS IS AN ALIST USED TO PROTECT NON-ATOMIC READ-MACRO FUNCTIONS" "\;\;\; FROM BEING GC'ED. EACH ITEM ON THE ALIST IS OF THE FORM " "\;\;\; (FUN RDT . NUM) WHERE:" "\;\;\;	FUN IS THE FUNCTION TO BE PROTECTED" "\;\;\;	RDT IS THE SAR OF THE READTABLE CONCERNED" "\;\;\;	NUM IS A LISP NUMBER (GUARANTEED NLISP INUM)" "\;\;\;		<ASCII CHAR VALUE> FOR READ-MACRO FUNCTION" "\;\;\; PROLIS IS UPDATED BY SSGCPRO AND SSGCREL.")
("I don't plan to maintain it, just to install it." "                -- Richard M. Stallman")
("Yea, from the table of my memory" "I'll wipe away all trivial fond records." "                -- Hamlet, I.i.97")
("HELP!  I'm being attacked by a tenured professor!")
("They tell us that" "We lost our Dectapes" "Evolving up" "From PDP-8s" "I say it's all" "Just writing in ROMs" "Are we not men?" "We are Unix" "Are we not men?" "U N I X" "        -- by ZRM to the tune of Jocko Homo by Devo")
("                              MULTICS MAN!!!!" "" "With his power ring PL-1, backed by the mighty resources of the powerful" "H-6880, his faithful sidekick, the Fso Eagle, and his trusted gang: \"The" "System Daemons\", he fights a never-ending battle for truth, security, and" "the Honeywell Way!" "                -- T. Kenney")
("/* TWO LEVEL EMPTY DO NEST */" "FUTILE: PROCEDURE OPTIONS(MAIN)\;" "    DCL (I,J) FIXED DEC\;" "    DO I = 1 TO 10000 BY 1\;" "	 DO J = 1 TO 10000 BY 1\;" "	      END\; END\; END FUTILE\;" "                -- An Introduction to Programming" "                   Richard Conway and David Gries")
("\"... the most important thing in the programming language is the name.  A" "language will not succeed without a good name.  I have recently invented a" "very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language." "                -- D. E. Knuth, 1967")
(" SYSTAT: Uptime = 9:01\; I have been awake for 9:32:47" " Amylfax Shuffletime = less than 12% Freight Drain" " Log 5\; 5 Jobs, Two Detached" " Minimum Entry Gate = 1" " Total National Imbalance = 3456 Boxcars " " Gate CLOSED.")
(":FATAL ERROR -- ATTEMPT TO USE CANADIAN COINS")
("The difference between a child and a hacker is the amount he flames about" "his toys." "                -- Ed Schwalenberg")
("Incrementally extended heuristic algorithms tend inexorably toward the" "incomprehensible.")
("Multics is security spelled sideways.")
("You are being paged.")
("I would rather be in the back of a car then a cdr." "			-- Blackboard in 6.011 area")
("A mathematician named Klein" "Thought the Mobius band was divine." "   Said he, \"If you glue" "   The edges of two," "You'll get a weird bottle like mine!")
("Keeping instructions and operands in different memories saves .20 (.09)" "microseconds.")
("Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the world for ugly" "mathematics.")
("As of next Tuesday, all terminal input will be line-at-a-time." "Please update your programs.")
("(THASSERT (HACKER RG))" "                -- Example of PLANNER statement." "" "(THASSERT (PLANNER RG))" "		-- Example of HACKER statement.")
("LISP car-and-cdr worlds are a more reasonable representation of the things" "that make life interesting than fixed decimal(15) or FILE OLDMSTR RECORD IS" "PAYROLL." "                -- Bernie Greenberg.")
("As of next Monday, COMSAT will be flushed in favor of a string and two tin" "cans.  Please update your software.")
("As of next month, MACLISP \"/\" will be flushed in favor of \"\\\"." "Please update the WORLD.")
("As of next Monday, TRIX will be flushed in favor of VISI-CALC." "Please update your programs.")
("As of next Monday, MACLISP will no longer support list structure." "Please downgrade your programs.")
("TELSER now has a new subroutine --" "SRDM	Sign-on Remote user and Disconnect Modem." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "TJS	TeX this Job and Shove it." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "PBN	Play Beethoven's Ninth." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "JOFD	Jump On Flag and Defect." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "BAH	Branch And Hang." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "RLI	Rotate Left Intermittently." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "OPP	Optimize Programmer." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "STMLMD	Skip To My Lou, My Darlin'." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "BOT 	Branch On Tree." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "DTRT	Do The Right Thing." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "DWIM	Do What I Mean." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "JFFZ	Jump if Find First Zero." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "SPO	Skip if Power Off." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "BFM	Be Fruitful and Multiply." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "PFLT	Prove Fermat's Last Theorem." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "SETS	Set to Self." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "DAC	Divide and Conquer." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "COM	Clear Operator's Mind." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "ROM	Read Operator's Mind." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "HCF	Halt and Catch Fire." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "CIZ	Clear If Zero." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "XOI	Execute Operator Immediate." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "RIG	Read Interrecord Gap." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "SWAR	Space War (in one instruction)." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "CHSE	Compare Half-words and Swap if Equal." "Please update your programs.")
("All ITS machines now have hardware for a new machine instruction --" "LRSA	Logical Red Shift Accumulator." "Please update your programs.")
("Thank you for onlining with ITS --" "Be sure to patronize us again for your next fix.")
("Have you heard of the new Macsyma processor?  It has three instructions --" "LOAD, STORE, and SKIP IF INTEGRABLE.")
("10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.")
("Make sure your code does nothing gracefully.")
("Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.")
("If a logical expression is hard to understand, try transforming it.")
("Avoid unnecessary branches.")
("Parenthesize to avoid ambiguity.")
("ILGL UNDEF SYM?")
("FOO:	.CALL [ SETZ" "		SIXBIT /LUNCH/]")
("NIHIL EX NIHIL -- DON'T SETQ NIL.")
("PURITAS NECESSE EST -- DON'T DO RANDOM BINDINGS.")
("VERITAS AETERNA -- DON'T SETQ T.")
("As of next Tuesday NCOMPLR will no longer open-code arithmetic statements." "Please update your programs.")
("TTY Message from The-XGP at MIT-AI:" "The-XGP@AI 02/59/69 02:59:69" "Your XGP output is startling.")
("DSK: STAN.K\; ML EXIT -- FILE NOT FOUND")
("--Kill Running Inferiors--")
("--Despite Pending :Alarm--")
("" "UU UU   M   M       " "U U U   M   M        " "U   U   M   M" "U   U   M   M" "U   U   M   M" "U   U    MMM" "")
("DDT: Security in Obscurity." "Multics: Obscurity in Security.")
("A computer, to print out a fact," "Will divide, multiply, and subtract." "    But this output can be" "    No more than debris," "If the input was short of exact." "                -- Gigo")
("You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.")
("Pay no attention to the PDP-11 behind the front panel." "                -- PGS, in reference to OZ")
("ALT ALT to you too!")
("ITS is a hand-crafted RSUBR.")
("((LAMBDA (X) (X X)) (LAMBDA (X) (X X)))")
("AI ITS.1218. DDT.1388." "TTY 53" "5. Lusers, Fair Share = 55%" "*")
("The Three Laws of Thermodynamics: " "   1) You can't win." "   2) You can't break even." "   3) You can't even get out of the game.")
("Who's afraid of ARPA?")
("Who's afraid of the garbage collector?")
(":FATAL ERROR -- ERROR IN USER")
(":FATAL ERROR -- ILLEGAL ERROR")
(":FATAL ERROR -- YOU ARE OUT OF VECTOR SPACE")
(":FATAL ERROR -- VECTOR OUT OF HILBERT SPACE")
(":FATAL ERROR -- ERROR IN ERROR HANDLER")
("Please... your programs.")
("As of next Friday, you will be flushed in favor of CONNIVER." "Please go away.")
("As of next Thursday, ITS will be flushed in favor of TOPS-10." "Please update your programs.")
("The people's revolutionary committee has decided that the name \"e\" is" "retrogressive, unmulticious and reactionary, and has been flushed." "Please update your abbrevs.")
("As of next Wednesday, CLU will be flushed in favor of SNOBOL." "Please update your programs.")
("They are called computers simply because computation is the only" "significant job that has so far been given to them." "                -- Louis Ridenour")
("You should talk to the DOCTOR.")
("This login session:  only $23.95!")
("This login session:  $13.99")
("Blame it on the *-Property.")
("Your latest program has been judged UNTASTEFUL by the T daemon\;" "and automatically deleted.")
("The DRAW program: where a single keystroke can ruin your entire career.")
("Multics Emacs: a lifetime of convenience, a moment of regret.")
("TECO Madness: a moment of regret, a lifetime of convenience." "                -- Kent Pitman")
("TECO Madness: a moment of convenience, a lifetime of regret." "                -- Dave Moon")
("Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated." "                -- M. C. Reed.")
("As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain\;" "and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality." "                -- Albert Einstein.")
("Philosophy:  unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.")
("Perhaps the purpose of categorical algebra is to show that that which is" "trivial, is trivially trivial.")
("Long computations which yield zero are probably all for naught.")
(".SET:	EXCH A,AR1" ".SET1:	PUSH P,A" "	PUSHJ P,BIND		\;BIND TAKES SYMBOL IN A, VALUE IN AR1" "	POP P,A			\;THIS CROCKISH IMPLEEMNTATION" "	EXCH A,AR1		\; PERFORMS A SET BY DOING A SPECBIND," "	JRST SETXIT		\; THEN DISCARDING THE BINDING FROM SP")
("Entropy isn't what it used to be.")
("Colorless green ideas sleep furiously." "                -- Noam Chomsky")
("Clyde: \"What do you know about magnetic rocks?\"" "Hyde: \"Not a thing.  Go ask Peter.\"" "" "Clyde leaves to see Peter." "" "Peter: \"There are these 4 poles, you see...." "The 'unlike' poles attract and if we reverse them then the 'like' poles" "will repel.....\"" "" "A while later:" "" "Hyde: \"What did he come up with?\"" "Clyde: \"A lesson in Reverse Polish logic.\"")
("" "" "" "ERROR ON LINE 666!" "" "" "")
("\"Access to a COFF symbol table via ldtbread is even less abstract," " really sucks in general, and should be banned from earth.\"" "        -- SCSH 0.5.1 unix.c")
("Let hackers and wireheads grovel and curse," "    Chase pointers and seg fault in C\;" "Our LispM shall never fandango on core --" "    Content with hard CDR are we!")
("This program posts news to billions of machines throughout the galaxy.  Your" "message will cost the net enough to bankrupt your entire planet.  As a result" "your species will be sold into slavery.  Be sure you know what you are doing." "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? [yn] y")
("LOGO is not a language. It's a way to simulate 'skid marks' made by" "turtles with serious bowel control problems.")
("BASIC is not a language. It's a plot to sucker poor unsuspecting consumers" "into believing that they should buy a computer because ANYONE can learn" "how to program.")
("ASSEMBLER is a language. Any language that can take a half-dozen keystrokes" "and compile it down to one byte of code is all right in my books. Though" "for the REAL programmer, assembler is a waste of time. Why use a compiler" "when you can code directly into memory through a front panel.")
("PASCAL is not a language. It was an experiment combining the flexibilty" "of C with that of a drug-crazed penguin. It is also the 'language' of choice" "of many CS professors who aren't up to handling REAL programming. Hence," "it is not a language.")
("C is almost a real language. (see assembler) Even the name sounds like it's" "gone through an optimizing compiler. Get rid of all of those stupid" "brackets and we'll talk. (see LISP)")
("\"If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use?  Two strong oxen" " or 1024 chickens?\"" "                -- Seymour Cray")
("To iterate is human\; to recurse, divine.")
("recursion, n:" "        See recursion.")
("debugging, v:" "        Removing the needles from the haystack.")
("programmer, n:" "        A red eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate" "        monsters.")
("Task -- shoot yourself in the foot." "" "Lisp:" "  You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which" "  you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which" "  you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which" "  you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ..." "" "Scheme:" "  You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which" "  you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which" "  you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which" "  you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ..." "  ... but none of the other appendages are aware of all this happening.")
("You shouldn't anthropomorphize computers\; they don't like it.")
("Smith's Test for Artificial Life:" "When animal-rights activists and right-to-life protesters are marching outside" "your laboratory, then you know you've definitely made progress in your" "artificial life research." "                -- Donald A. Smith ")
("We all live in a yellow subroutine, a yellow subroutine, a yellow subroutine...")
("The meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to apply" "Turing tests to objects of its own creation.")
("The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the" "question of whether a submarine can swim." "                -- Edsger W. Dijkstra")
("The human race will decree from time to time: \"There is something at which" "it is absolutely forbidden to laugh.\"" "                -- Nietzche on Common Lisp")
("Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics\; the" "poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians." "                -- Edsger W. Dijkstra")
("Perhaps there should be a new 'quantum' datatype\; you would be able to take" "its address or value, but not both simultaneously." "                -- Michael Shields")
("Oh, boy, virtual memory! Now I'm gonna make myself a really *big* RAMdisk!")
("Of course, unless one has a theory, one cannot expect much help from a" "computer unless _it_ has a theory)..." "                -- Marvin Minsky")
("It is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe.  It is equally vain to" "try to do it with ten blunt axes instead." "                -- Edsger W. Dijkstra")
("If you have a procedure with ten parameters, you probably missed some." "                -- Alan J. Perlis")
("Artificial intelligence, like fusion power, has been ten years away for the" "last 30 years. " "                -- Conrad Stack")
("Several factors keep him going. Being loved and admired makes him happy." "When the Schememonster is happy he becomes your true friend and is ready to" "protect you from anything bad, such as a filthy Pascal-philosophy.  He really" "is a charming monster when in a good mood." "" "When the Schememonster runs into rebel scum he wants revenge. He might destroy" "your programs just 5 minutes before you are supposed to turn in your" "assignment, he might talk the professors over to put the hardest problems" "into your exam, etc.  Please notice that the Schememonster is extremely clever" "and therefore nothing to play with. Do take him seriously! " "" "The last warning comes quickly and after that there is nothing you can do to" "avoid the ultimate revenge - being his main course on the breakfast/lunch/" "dinner/snacktable.  At that time, it is too late to beg for mercy. The" "Schememonster never forgets! The Schememonster never dies! The Schememonster" "always wins! " "                -- The Schememonster's Friends")
("We also serve the Schememonster with prayers in form of procedures and" "sacrifice small Pascal-users to him. In return he makes our parentheses come" "alive - and makes our definitions make sense. " "                -- The Schememonster's Friends")
("(define !" "  (lambda (n)" "    ((lambda (n)" "       ((n (lambda (x) (+ x 1))) 0))" "     ((lambda (n)" "        ((lambda (p)" "           (p (lambda (x)" "                (lambda (y)" "                  y))))" "         ((n (lambda (p)" "               (((lambda (x)" "                   (lambda (y)" "                     (lambda (fun)" "                       ((fun x) y))))" "                 ((lambda (n)" "                    (lambda (f)" "                      (lambda (x)" "                        (f ((n f) x)))))" "                  ((lambda (p)" "                     (p (lambda (x)" "                          (lambda (y)" "                            x)))) p)))" "                (((lambda (x)" "                    (lambda (y)" "                      ((y ((lambda (x)" "                             (lambda (y)" "                               ((y (lambda (n)" "                                     (lambda (f)" "                                       (lambda (x)" "                                         (f ((n f) x)))))) x))) x))" "                       (lambda (f)" "                         (lambda (x)" "                           x)))))" "                  ((lambda (p)" "                     (p (lambda (x)" "                          (lambda (y)" "                            x)))) p))" "                 ((lambda (p)" "                    (p (lambda (x)" "                         (lambda (y)" "                           y)))) p)))))" "          (((lambda (x)" "              (lambda (y)" "                (lambda (fun)" "                  ((fun x) y))))" "            ((lambda (n)" "               (lambda (f)" "                 (lambda (x)" "                   (f ((n f) x)))))" "             (lambda (f)" "               (lambda (x)" "                 x))))" "           ((lambda (n)" "              (lambda (f)" "                (lambda (x)" "                  (f ((n f) x)))))" "            (lambda (f)" "              (lambda (x)" "                x)))))))" "      (((lambda (i-n)" "          (lambda (n)" "            (i-n i-n n)))" "        (lambda (loop n)" "          (if (zero? n)" "              (lambda (f)" "                (lambda (x)" "                  x))" "              ((lambda (n)" "                 (lambda (f)" "                   (lambda (x)" "                     (f ((n f) x)))))" "               (loop loop (- n 1)))))) n)))))" "                -- Shriram Krishnamurthi")
("Reflecting in those things that might have been:" "How Isaac Newton further far has seen" "confronting that vast Ocean of Unknown" "the shoulders that he stands on are his own." "First on his left, then his remaining hand" "the half-dimensioned fractal of the strand." "Dreams (that he is dreaming in a dream)" "the lithe recursive calculus of Scheme." "                -- John Carolan")
("Posted to comp.lang.scheme on January 17, 1996, for Scheme's twentieth" "birthday:" "                           ((I m a g i n e)" "                         (shriram@cs.rice.edu)" "                   (((Imagine there's no FORTRAN)" "                       (It's easy if you try)" "               (No SML below us) (Above us only Y)" "              (Imagine all              the people)" "             (Living for                their Chez))" "          ((Imagine there's          no memory leaks)" "                                 (It isn't hard to do)" "                                  (Nothing to malloc(3)" "                                        or free(3) for)" "                                   (And no (void *) too)" "                                 (Imagine all the people)" "                                  (Living in parentheses))" "                               ((You may say I'm a Schemer)" "                                 (But I'm not the only one)" "                             (I hope someday you'll join us)" "                                   (And the world will be as" "                            (lambda (f) (lambda (x) (f x)))))" "                              ((Imagine those   continuations)" "                             (I wonder              if you can)" "                       (No need for              C or pointers)" "                   (A brotherhood                        of Dan)" "                    (Imagine all                      the people)" "                    (GCing all                          the world))" "               ((You may say                          I'm a Schemer)" "              (But I'm not                              the only one)" "         (I hope someday                                you'll join us)" "        (And the world                                        will be as" "    (lambda (f)                                     (lambda (x) (f x)))))))" "                -- Shriram Krishnamurthi")
("A cocky novice once said to Stallman: \"I can guess why the editor is called" "Emacs, but why is the justifier called Bolio?\"." "" "Stallman replied forcefully, \"Names are but names, `Emac & Bolio's` is the name " "of a confectionary shop in Boston-town.  Neither of these men had anything" "to do with the software.\"" "" "His question answered, yet unanswered, the novice turned to go, but Stallman" "called to him, \"Neither Emac or Bolio had anything to do with the ice cream" "shop, either.\"" "" "Yes, you guested it, an ice cream koan.")
("A novice was trying to fix a broken lisp machine by turning the power off" "and on.  Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly --" "\"You can not fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of" "what is going wrong.\"" "" "Knight turned the machine off and on." "" "The machine worked.")
("The wonderful thing about Scheme is:            " "Scheme is a wonderful thing.                    " "Complex procedural ideas                        " "Are expressed via simple strings.               " "Its clear semantics, and lack of pedantics,     " "Help make programs run, run, RUN!               " "But the most wonderful thing about Scheme is:   " "Programming in it is fun,                       " "Programming in it is FUN!" "" "[with apologies to A. A. Milne, Ed.]")
("If your thesis is quite indefensible" "Reach for semantics intensional." "        Your committee will stammer" "        Over Montague grammer" "Not admitting it's incomprehensible!")
("If your thesis is utter vacuous" "Use first-order predicate calculus." "        With sufficient formality" "        The sheerist banality" "Will be hailed by the critics: \"Miraculous!\"")
("A hacker who studied ontology" "Was famed for his sense of frivolity." "        When his program inferred" "        That Clyde ISA Bird" "He blamed -- not his code -- but zoology!")
("If you're dull as a napkin, don't sigh\;" "Make your name as a \"deep\" sort of guy." "        You just have to crib, see," "        Any old book by Kripke" "And publish in AAAI.")
("It is better to have 100 functions operate on one data structure than 10" "functions on 10 data structures." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Every program is a part of some other program and rarely fits." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("One man's constant is another man's variable." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("Lisp, Lisp, Lisp Machine," "Lisp Machine is Fun." "Lisp, Lisp, Lisp Machine," "Fun for everyone.")
("We don't need no indirection            We don't need no compilation" "We don't need no flow control           We don't need no load control" "No data typing or declarations          No link edit for external bindings" "Hey! did you leave the lists alone?     Hey! did you leave that source alone?" "Chorus:                                 (Chorus)" "        Oh No. It's just a pure LISP function call." "" "We don't need no side-effecting         We don't need no allocation" "We don't need no flow control           We don't need no special-nodes" "No global variables for execution       No dark bit-flipping for debugging" "Hey! did you leave the args alone?      Hey! did you leave those bits alone?" "(Chorus)                                (Chorus)" "                -- \"Another Glitch in the Call\", a la Pink Floyd")
("You know you've been sitting in front of your Lisp machine too long" "when you go out to the junk food machine and start wondering how to" "make it give you the CADR of Item H so you can get that yummie" "chocolate cupcake that's stuck behind the disgusting vanilla one.")
("There is no distinction between any AI program and some existent game.")
("The next person to mention spaghetti stacks to me is going to have" "his head knocked off." "                -- Bill Conrad")
("        THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #12: LITHP" "" "This otherwise unremarkable language is distinguished by the absence of" "an \"S\" in its character set\; users must substitute \"TH\".  LITHP is said" "to be useful in protheththing lithtth.")
("***** Special AI Seminar (abstract)" "" "It has been widely recognized that AI programs require expert knowledge " "in order to perform well in complex domains.  But knowledge alone is not" "sufficient for some applications\; wisdom is needed as well.  Accordingly, " "we have developed a new approach to artificial intelligence which we call " "\"wisdom engineering\".  As a test of our ideas, we have written IMMANUEL, a " "wisdom based system for the task domain of western philosophical thought.  " "IMMANUEL was supplied initially with 200 wisdom units which contained wisdom " "about such elementary concepts as mind, matter, being, nothingness, and so " "forth.  IMMANUEL was then allowed to run freely, guided by the heuristic " "rules contained in its heterarchically organized meta wisdom base.  IMMANUEL " "succeeded in rediscovering most of the important philosophical ideas developed " "in western culture over the course of the last 25 centuries, including those " "underlying Plato's theory of government, Kant's metaphysics, Nietzsche's theory" "of value, and Husserl's phenomenology.  In this seminar, we will describe " "IMMANUEL's achievements and internal architecture.  We will also briefly " "discuss our recent efforts to apply wisdom engineering to oil exploration.")
("Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:" "" "PI      Punch Invalid" "POPI    Punch OPerator Immediately" "PVLC    Punch Variable Length Card" "RASC    Read And Shred Card" "RPM     Read Programmers Mind" "RSSC    Reduce Speed, Step Carefully (for improved accuracy)" "RTAB    Rewind Tape And Break" "RWDSK   REWind DiSK" "RWOC    Read Writing On Card" "SCRBL   SCRibBLe to disk -- faster than a write" "SLC     Search for Lost Chord" "SPSW    Scramble Program Status Word" "SRSD    Seek Record and Scar Disk" "STROM   Store in Read Only Memory" "TDB     Transfer and Drop Bit" "WBT     Water Binary Tree")
("Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:" "" "DC      Divide and Conquer" "DMPK    Destroy Memory Protect Key" "DO      Divide and Overflow" "EMPC    EMulate Pocket Calculator" "EPI     Execute Programmer Immediately" "EROS    Erase Read Only Storage" "EXCE    Execute Customer Engineer" "HCF     Halt and Catch Fire" "IBP     Insert Bug and Proceed" "INSQSW  INSert into Queue SomeWhere (for FISH queues (First In Still Here))" "PBC     Print and Break Chain" "PDSK    Punch Disk")
("Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:" "" "BBW     Branch Both Ways" "BEW     Branch Either Way" "BBBF    Branch on Bit Bucket Full" "BH      Branch and Hang" "BMR     Branch Multiple Registers" "BOB     Branch On Bug" "BPO     Branch on Power Off" "BST     Backspace and Stretch Tape" "CDS     Condense and Destroy System" "CLBR    CLoBber Register" "CLBRI   CLoBer Register Immediately" "CM      Circulate Memory" "CMFRM   CoMe FRoM -- essential for truly structured programming" "CPPR    Crumple Printer Paper and Rip" "CRN     Convert to Roman Numerals")
("        One day a student came to Moon and said, \"I understand how to make" "a better garbage collector.  We must keep a reference count of the pointers" "to each cons.\"" "        Moon patiently told the student the following story -- \"One day a" "student came to Moon and said, \"I understand how to make a better garbage" "collector...\"")
("No, I'm not interested in developing a powerful brain.  All I'm after is" "just a mediocre brain, something like the president of American Telephone" "and Telegraph Company." "                -- Alan Turing on the possibilities of a thinking" "                   machine, 1943.")
("May all your PUSHes be POPped.")
("Lisp Users:" "Due to the holiday next Monday, there will be no garbage collection.")
("((lambda (foo) (bar foo)) (baz))")
("... in three to eight years we will have a machine with the general" "intelligence of an average human being ... The machine will begin" "to educate itself with fantastic speed.  In a few months it will be" "at genius level and a few months after that its powers will be" "incalculable ..." "                -- Marvin Minsky, LIFE Magazine, November 20, 1970")
("        In the days when Sussman was a novice Minsky once came to him as he" "sat hacking at the PDP-6." "        \"What are you doing?\", asked Minsky." "        \"I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe.\"" "        \"Why is the net wired randomly?\", inquired Minsky." "        \"I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play\"." "        At this Minsky shut his eyes, and Sussman asked his teacher \"Why do" "you close your eyes?\"" "        \"So that the room will be empty.\"" "        At that momment, Sussman was enlightened.")
("I'm a Lisp variable -- bind me!")
("Giving up on assembly language was the apple in our Garden of Eden:  Languages" "whose use squanders machine cycles are sinful.  The LISP machine now permits" "LISP programmers to abandon bra and fig-leaf." "                -- Alan Perlis, Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982")
("(defun NF (a c)" "  (cond ((null c) () )" "        ((atom (car c))" "          (append (list (eval (list 'getchar (list (car c) 'a) (cadr c))))" "                 (nf a (cddr c))))" "        (t (append (list (implode (nf a (car c)))) (nf a (cdr c))))))" "" "(defun AD (want-job challenging boston-area)" "  (cond " "   ((or (not (equal want-job 'yes))" "        (not (equal boston-area 'yes))" "        (lessp challenging 7)) () )" "   (t (append (nf  (get 'ad 'expr)" "          '((caaddr 1 caadr 2 car 1 car 1)" "            (car 5 cadadr 9 cadadr 8 cadadr 9 caadr 4 car 2 car 1)" "            (car 2 caadr 4)))" "      (list '851-5071x2661)))))" "\;\;\;     We are an affirmative action employer.")
("An interpretation I satisfies a sentence in the table language if and only if" "each entry in the table designates the value of the function designated by the" "function constant in the upper-left corner applied to the objects designated" "by the corresponding row and column labels." "                -- Genesereth & Nilsson, \"Logical foundations of Artificial" "                   Intelligence\"")
("An engineer is someone who does list processing in FORTRAN.")
("===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================" "" "There has been some confusion concerning MAPCAR." "        (DEFUN MAPCAR (&FUNCTIONAL FCN &EVAL &REST LISTS)" "                (PROG (V P LP)" "                (SETQ P (LOCF V))" "        L       (SETQ LP LISTS)" "                (%START-FUNCTION-CALL FCN T (LENGTH LISTS) NIL)" "        L1      (OR LP (GO L2))" "                (AND (NULL (CAR LP)) (RETURN V))" "                (%PUSH (CAAR LP))" "                (RPLACA LP (CDAR LP))" "                (SETQ LP (CDR LP))" "                (GO L1)" "        L2      (%FINISH-FUNCTION-CALL FCN T (LENGTH LISTS) NIL)" "                (SETQ LP (%POP))" "                (RPLACD P (SETQ P (NCONS LP)))" "                (GO L)))" "We hope this clears up the many questions we've had about it.")
("===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================" "" "The garbage collector now works.  In addition a new, experimental garbage " "collection algorithm has been installed.  With SI:%DSK-GC-QLX-BITS set to 17," "(NOT the default) the old garbage collection algorithm remains in force\; when " "virtual storage is filled, the machine cold boots itself.  With SI:%DSK-GC-" "QLX-BITS set to 23, the new garbage collector is enabled.  Unlike most garbage" "collectors, the new gc starts its mark phase from the mind of the user, rather " "than from the obarray.  This allows the garbage collection of significantly " "more Qs.  As the garbage collector runs, it may ask you something like \"Do you" "remember what SI:RDTBL-TRANS does?\", and if you can't give a reasonable answer" "in thirty seconds, the symbol becomes a candidate for GCing.  The variable " "SI:%GC-QLX-LUSER-TM governs how long the GC waits before timing out the user.")
("===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================" "" "JCL support as alternative to system menu." "" "In our continuing effort to support languages other than LISP on the CADDR," "we have developed an OS/360-compatible JCL.  This can be used as an" "alternative to the standard system menu.  Type System J to get to a JCL" "interactive read-execute-diagnose loop window.  [Note that for 360" "compatibility, all input lines are truncated to 80 characters.]  This" "window also maintains a mouse-sensitive display of critical job parameters" "such as dataset allocation, core allocation, channels, etc.  When a JCL" "syntax error is detected or your job ABENDs, the window-oriented JCL" "debugger is entered.  The JCL debugger displays appropriate OS/360 error" "messages (such as IEC703, \"disk error\") and allows you to dequeue your job.")
("===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================" "" "Compiler optimizations have been made to macro expand LET into a WITHOUT-" "INTERRUPTS special form so that it can PUSH things into a stack in the" "LET-OPTIMIZATION area, SETQ the variables and then POP them back when it's" "done.  Don't worry about this unless you use multiprocessing." "Note that LET *could* have been defined by:" "" "        (LET ((LET '`(LET ((LET ',LET))" "                        ,LET)))" "        `(LET ((LET ',LET))" "                ,LET))" "" "This is believed to speed up execution by as much as a factor of 1.01 or" "3.50 depending on whether you believe our friendly marketing representatives." "This code was written by a new programmer here (we snatched him away from" "Itty Bitti Machines where we was writting COUGHBOL code) so to give him" "confidence we trusted his vows of \"it works pretty well\" and installed it.")
("===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================" "" "A new system, the CIRCULATORY system, has been added." "" "The long-experimental CIRCULATORY system has been released to users.  The" "Lisp Machine uses Type B fluid, the L machine uses Type A fluid.  When the " "switch to Common Lisp occurs both machines will, of course, be Type O." "Please check fluid level by using the DIP stick which is located in the" "back of VMI monitors.  Unchecked low fluid levels can cause poor paging" "performance.")
("A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God." "                -- Alan Perlis" "%%%" "===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================" "" "CAR and CDR now return extra values." "" "The function CAR now returns two values.  Since it has to go to the trouble " "to figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as " "well get both halves at once.  For example, the following code shows how to " "destructure a cons (SOME-CONS) into its two slots (THE-CAR and THE-CDR):" "" "        (MULTIPLE-VALUE-BIND (THE-CAR THE-CDR) (CAR SOME-CONS) ...)" "" "For symmetry with CAR, CDR returns a second value which is the CAR of the" "object.  In a related change, the functions MAKE-ARRAY and CONS have been " "fixed so they don't allocate any storage except on the stack.  This should" "hopefully help people who don't like using the garbage collector because" "it cold boots the machine so often.")
("A student, in hopes of understanding the Lambda-nature, came to Greenblatt." "As they spoke a Multics system hacker walked by.  \"Is it true\", asked the" "student, \"that PL-1 has many of the same data types as Lisp?\"  Almost before" "the student had finished his question, Greenblatt shouted, \"FOO!\", and hit" "the student with a stick.")
("        A man from AI walked across the mountains to SAIL to see the Master," "Knuth.  When he arrived, the Master was nowhere to be found.  \"Where is the" "wise one named Knuth?\" he asked a passing student." "        \"Ah,\" said the student, \"you have not heard. He has gone on a" "pilgrimage across the mountains to the temple of AI to seek out new" "disciples.\"" "        Hearing this, the man was Enlightened.")
("A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing." "                -- Alan Perlis")
("        A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating" "his morning meal.  \"I would like to give you this personality test\", said" "the outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\"" "        Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the" "toaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".")
("A CONS is an object which cares." "                -- Bernie Greenberg.")
("Howe's Law:" "        Everyone has a scheme that will not work.")
("        A novice was trying to fix a broken lisp machine by turning the" "power off and on.  Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly," "\"You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding" "of what is going wrong.\"  Knight turned the machine off and on.  The" "machine worked.")
("A famous Lisp Hacker noticed an Undergraduate sitting in front of a Xerox" "1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser. Wanting to" "help, the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network with the mouse," "and asked \"what do you see?\" Very earnestly, the Undergraduate replied \"I" "see a cursor.\" The Hacker then quickly pressed the boot toggle at the back" "of the keyboard, while simultaneously hitting the Undergraduate over the head" "with a thick Interlisp Manual.  The Undergraduate was then Enlightened.")
("... it's just that in C++ and the like, you don't trust _anybody_," "and in CLOS you basically trust everybody.  the practical result" "is that thieves and bums use C++ and nice people use CLOS." "                -- Erik Naggum")
("Hit the philistines three times over the head with the Elisp reference manual." "                -- Michael A. Petonic")
("Data and procedures and the values they amass," "Higher-order functions to combine and mix and match," "Objects with their local state, the messages they pass," "A property, a package, the control point for a catch-" "In the Lambda Order they are all first-class." "One Thing to name them all, One Thing to define them," "One Thing to place them in environments and bind them," "In the Lambda Order they are all first-class." "                -- The TI PC Scheme Manual")
