From the Songs About Fucking LP
The Power of Independent Trucking --------------------------------- oh, you think that was a nice piece there, eh? i'll tell you something. i got an exit book here, shows the best steak on any mile of interstate in the whole pig-friggin' country. shows every decent motel and a few indecent ones. shows where to get a new axle at four in the morning. fucking bible. well, i got another little book i wrote up myself. sort of an exit and entrance book, if you get me. shows me where every piece of ass i ever picked up is. i can get laid inside ten minutes just about anywhere in the fucking world. it's all in the book. this one chick though, i'll never forget it. moved her ass like a blender. bitch simply could not get enough. buck and scream like a wild animal. every time i go through jersey i stop in for a taste. the one thing i can't stand is when they get emotional about it. want you to call 'em and write 'em. when i'm gone, i'm gone. i'll take 'em with me for a while, we ride, then fuck, then ride. i've burned out three mattresses in the cab-over up there. that one, though. she was wild. The backbone of this country is the independent truck The power of the trucker comes from his truck mm mm mm mm cab overhead That's where those truckers generate their Backbone, backbone, backbone, backbone mm mm mm mm mm mm fist in my face mm mm mm Backbone, backbone, backbone, backbone Move you move like an animal Making a noise like an animal Fornicate and fornicate Sing a song about fornicate Make you move like an animal Making a noise like an animal Bake a chicken and pluck an eye We're gonna talk about mm mm Sing a song about fornicate Sing a song about fornicate Fornicate and fornicate Sing a song about fornicate Backbone The Model --------- (Kraftwerk cover) boy, don't we all look smashing in red. She's a model and she's looking good I'd like to take her home with me, that's understood Playing hard-to-get, she smiles from time to time It only takes a camera to change her mind Posing for consumer products now and then I even saw her on the cover of a magazine She's going out to nightclubs drinking just champagne She is looking good, I want to see her again Bad Penny --------- what's really impressive is that some of these guys last so long. you'd think more of them would get killed, since all they do is burn their bridges. Ought to know what a liar I am, ought to know me by now Don't curse me for my nature, don't bless me for my luck Just a bad penny, I always come back to you Just a bad penny Just a bad penny, I always come back to you Should have known you couldn't trust me far as you can throw me, throw me Couldn't throw me too far Just a bad penny, couldn't throw me too far I think I fucked your girlfriend once... maybe twice, I don't remember Then I fucked all your friends' girlfriends -- now they hate you Just a bad penny, just a bad penny Just a bad penny, just a bad penny Such a bad penny, such a bad penny Bad, bad penny, bad, bad penny Ought to know what a liar I am, ought to know me by now Such a bad penny Ooh bad, bad penny, bad, bad penny Ought to know what a liar I am, ought to know me by now Ought've known you couldn't trust me as far as you can throw me, throw me Such a bad penny, such a bad penny Such a bad penny, such a bad penny Slap my hand L Dopa ------ daisy [a victim of Parkinson's disease] went to sleep at 15 and woke up many years later. she, being perfectly sensible, decided she ought to die, since she had literally slept away her entire productive life. the medical profession had, in her absence, decided that all life must be preserved, regardless of worth to its owner, and prevented her from performing the only noble act she was capable of. That Oliver Sacks has been portrayed by Robin Williams in a saccharine mass- market tearjerker movie in no way invalidates his life's work: documenting the entertaining behavior of people with severe brain anomalies. I got a sickness sweet as a love note I got a headache like a pillow Called me Daisy, called me Daisy, called me Daisy, that one Called me Daisy I am a sweetheart, I am a prom queen, I am some puppies Not Daisy Not Daisy Are we here now? I am a horror This is an old one Not Daisy L Dopa fixed me, all right Precious Thing -------------- in general, someone is a thing of value if and only if he or she is willing to submit to whatever degradation and abuse is required to preserve that position. anything less betrays a lack of commitment. I would like to wrap your hair round your neck like a noose I would like to wrap your legs around my neck like a lock You are my precious thing, thing of speed and beauty You are my precious thing, as long as you remain beneath me I will hold you down, I will hold you down, I will pin you down I will hold you down, I will hold you down, I will mm mm down you You are my precious thing, you are my precious thing, you are my precious thing I will hold you down, I will hold you down, I will pin you down I will hold you down, I will hold you down, I will pin you down I will hold you down, I will hold you down, I will mm mm down you You are my precious thing, thing of speed and beauty, you are my precious thing You are my precious thing, thing of speed and beauty You are my precious thing, long as you remain beneath me Colombian Necktie ----------------- the necktie, a particularly humiliating way to die, involves having your throat slit from ear to ear, so your tongue can flop out on your neck. Gotta get loaded, I gotta go off Don't call her to save me Don't call her hack off More like an ashcan, more like a time bomb, more like a stovepipe Columbian necktie I don't want to die, I just wanted to give her the works Don't call her to safety ?? Don't call her to report More like an ashcan, more like time bomb, more like a stovepipe Columbian necktie I don't want to die, I just wanted to give her the works When I get loaded, gotta go home Don't call her to safety Don't call her hack off More like an ashcan, more like time bomb, more like a stovepipe Columbian necktie I don't want to die, I just wanted to give her the works Kitty Empire ------------ ever since that fellow there moved in, there's been some mighty strange goings-on over there. he's up until all hours. he's got that crazy music, noisy all the time. there's some sort of cat army there, too. they live under that porch. someone saw him out there jaybird naked one time hopping like an indian out in the weeds. the smell is just ferocious sometimes, like he does his own number twos out there in the yard. i swear. The Emperor makes his rounds, Master of all Cats Fat in the Midwest, Emperor rolls his little balls -- Catland Says hi to his pal Walter, for all that smoking in the backyard The neighbors do not understand, he's an aberration Even makes a funny noise He plays great hunter with a ball-point pen When the cat's away, ah, it's a regular rat day When the rat's away, ah, King Cat, King Cat can play day I jump around with my wang in the wind It flops around, you admired it I am your neighbor now You can't stop me now In exchange ??, I will even run a mm mm mm ?? If not, then all I want is something else You will ask them for me In exchange, I'll piss on everything you value I am the Emperor of Cats I do what I want now, cats I do what I want now, cats I shit outside if I want to All a part of my, ow, kitty empire Ergot ----- psychedelic fungus infestation of european grain, not divine inspiration, is responsible for many of the "visions" so lovingly portrayed in the christian paintings of antiquity. how many people were pressed under stones or drowned or burned for satanism while those of faith were quietly tripping their brains out on bad bread? Out No mm mm mm mm mm my head mm mm mm mm mm bread mm mm mm mm mm my head mm mm mm mm mm bread Do you see that? I will run mm mm mm mm mm head Must've had some wheat bread mm mm mm mm mm head mm mm mm mm bad bread mm mm mm mm I will run mm mm mm It makes you want to mm Can't you feel the cold hand mm ?? I see mm mm mm mm mm I can hear the sound of mm I fell in the roach bed ?? Bad bread Kasmir S. Pulaski Day --------------------- the mafia still knows how to throw a good killing when it needs to. the more colorful ones get the most attention. a bomb, for instance, doesn't need to be in the victim's car. it can be in a stalled vehicle on the roadway, waiting to go bang until the victim happens to be driving by. other people may be driving by as well. life's rough. Saw something go wrong today when along, when a car went by Gray car blew up today when along, when a car went by Never thought it really happened that way Never thought it really happened that way Never thought it really happened that way Drew a rod and they blew him away Down on the south side, out on Pulaski There were pieces of a man all over the skyway Well I suffered real bad today, just like in the movies Why did mm get an mm mm like that? I even felt a little sick I never thought it really happened that way I never thought it really happened that way I wouldn't want to check out in that way Drew a rod and they blew him away There were pieces of a man all over the skyway There were pieces of a man mm mm in the ashtray What are you trying to prove now, Benny? What are you trying to call me, Benny? Better stay out of it, Benny Stay out of my wayski Fish Fry -------- it went like this, as near as anybody can tell. he went to her family's fish fry, took her to the drive-in, porked her, then beat her to death with his boot. it is speculated that he was upset about the ease with which he got into her pants, when she had resisted his brother's attempts earlier. he threw the body into frenchtown pond, if memory serves, and went home. when the police found him the following afternoon, he was nonchalantly scrubbing out the cab of his truck with the aid of a garden hose. The decline in popularity of drive-in movies is doing tremendous damage to the sexual development of adolescents. When the drive-ins are all gone, there will be no place where teenagers can practice and observe sexual technique in large numbers with ready access to popcorn, fresh air and Coca-Cola douche. Hosin' out the cab of his pickup truck He's got his 8-track playin' really fuckin' loud The one who wouldn't mm his brother 's dead She's wearin' his bootprint on her forehead Saw her at the picture show out on the highway After the fish fry, late last Friday Havin' a fish fry, number one fish fry Havin' a fish fry, deeper than a mm mm ?? Havin' a fish fry, number one fish fry The fish fry out by Frenchtown They say they saw you out there at Frenchtown They say they saw you out by Frenchtown Now I fuck you and I hit you with my shoe And I hide your bloody body in Frenchtown pond Sometimes you know you want to fuck somebody up Sometimes you just want to fuck Pavement Saw ------------ the things people do when they have nothing to do can be pretty silly. those same people can become all-important in each other's lives. the things they do increase in importance in proportion. soon a lot of people who do nothing individually scrutinize the minuscule doings of the others. this, in short, is "falling in love." The male-female relationship, as a subject for song, is thoroughly bankrupt. She went through me like a pavement saw And I feel stupid 'cause I was so stupid about it She went through me like a pavement saw And I feel stupid 'cause I was so stupid about it She smokes so self-contently Makes me sick But she's so pretty that I can't resist She likes to suffer, she's has nothing to do Can't hate the chick 'cause she's got no sense She went through me like a pavement saw And I feel stupid 'cause I was so stupid about it She went through me like a pavement saw And I feel stupid 'cause I was so stupid about it Tiny, King of the Jews ---------------------- sometimes, even killing yourself wouldn't be enough. like when you realize that your entire life has been lived under a presumption of free will, but all you've been able to make of it is a sad parody of everything you used to hate. slowly, without trying, everyone becomes what he despises most. I started out drinking, states that winnie mm mm all in me And I killed another day On the wall there's another there I hacked through another night By the look of mm my hand I'm adrift and I can't mm I started out hating myself and when I'm through I've gotta have something to hate, and I guess it's you Man's gotta have something to hate, guess I'll do And when I'm through with myself, I'll start on you Everything I do, it's do-or-die I started out drinking, I wonder why I started out drinking, mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm all in me And I killed another day On the wall there's another there I hacked through another night Another wrinkle in my skin Another trip that I can't make Man's gotta hate someone, and I guess I'll do And when I'm through with myself, I'll start on you I started out hating myself, now that I'm through I'm looking for someone to hate, guess you'll do Bombastic Intro --------------- (instrumental) every good vegas act has an opening theme, some appropriately triumphant fanfare to welcome the delight of the audience. it helps convince them the show was worth their thirty bucks or so. He's a Whore ------------ (Cheap Trick cover) I see the face Got a face you could stop a clock With that face I'm sure to let it stop To look her in the eyes Dead mother's mm?? Like jewels so un-mm?? She's still so close to my reach If I call, if I call at all Any time at all, any time at all, any time at all, any time at all So the story goes If thou take her for a ride With his moneybag by my side She'd be knowin' it's the only way to go So I show my face And I can hear her face smile But I left her inside of a mile 'Cause I can tell she's a joke, she's a joke, she's a joke So the story goes He's a whore -- I'll do anything for money He's a whore -- With the things you like to eat He's a whore -- Well, the stories I could tell He's a whore -- And I'm a moron as well I'm a whore -- He'll do anything for money I'm a whore -- Because he goes anywhere I'm a whore -- He'll do anything for money I'm a whore And so the story goes I think I'll take her for a ride With his moneybag by my side And she'd be knowin' it's the only way to go Ohh, whoa, ohh