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A story of love
by Rebecca Heisler
contributing writer
Tuesday Nov 25, 2008

3D"Melvin

Melvin Simms (left) posi= ng with op-ed author Rebecca Heisler.

Over the past three years the staff at Somerville Cambridge Elder Services (S= CES) has been working to reach out to the LGBT senior population in their community. This work began in 2005 when the agency began a two-year trai= ning and consultation program led by the LGBT Aging Project. This program, ca= lled "Open Door Task Force," is a cultural competency program for e= lder care providers who wish to make their agencies welcoming to LGBT seniors= and caregivers. Since that time, SCES’s internal LGBT Task Force has b= een working to incorporate an LGBT presence into their programs and services. This year, at SCES’s annual Elderfair in June, they added a coffee mixer and reception for LGBT seniors. An even bigger statement was made earlier this month at the agency’s annual awards ceremony, Serving Seniors. They decided to add a new award to bring recognition to an individual who made significant contributions to the LGBT elder communit= y.

That is where I came in. I am a case manager at SCES= . I knew the perfect person for this award. I met Melvin Simms in May of 2007 when I made my first home visit to a new client, Walter Norden. Walter, = 74 and Mel, 63 had been together for 39 years. At this point, Walter’s Parkinson’s disease had dramatically affected his speech, but he d= idn’t even have to use words. Melvin understood Walter’s needs and worked tirelessly to make sure Walter was comfortable. When his mouth was dry Melvin would lovingly spritz water into it. This was a true measure of loving kindness. Melvin was always so on top of Walter’s care; it = was tremendously admirable. He was always trying to find the best way to accommodate Walter’s needs, and was endlessly grateful for the assistance that SCES provided.

In the fall of 2007, Melvin was diagnosed with lymph= oma and began chemotherapy. This did not slow Melvin down in the slightest in regards to the vigor with which he cared for his partner. Somehow, Melvin was able to manage all the appointments for the treatments while continu= ing to work part time in his position as associate professor at Northeastern= . He never lost his big smile through all this turmoil.

By May Walter’s health started to decline and = then on May 20th he passed away from respiratory failure due to complications from Parkinson’s. The same day I received a call from Melvin to in= form me that Walter had passed away during the night. Melvin thanked me for my work with Walter. I think it would be safe to say that Melvin continued = to dutifully care for Walter, even after his passing.

When I shared their story with my colleagues at SCES= it was a unanimous decision to honor Mel with the first LGBT Award at Servi= ng Seniors. As we prepared for the ceremony word began to spread about Mel’s story, and soon we learned that Joseph Curtatone, the Mayor = of Somerville wanted to give Mel a special citation. The Mayor’s cita= tion read in part, "For the outstanding care and compassion that Melvin showed his partner." He also received a citation from the Massachus= etts State Senate, signed by Senate President Therese Murray.

At the ceremony on November 5th, Mel shared a few wo= rds with the gathered guests:

"Walter S. Norden and I were together 39 years,= " Mel said. "We were partners, friends, and spouses. We were great companions and always said we would take care of each other.

"The one advice I give my friends and others is always tell the person you love how much they mean to you, regularly. Th= is award gives additional meaning to our relationship.

"I thoroughly appreciate your acknowledgement. I’d like to thank the individuals at the Cambridge Somerville Seni= or Services who Walter and I had contact with. Especially Rebecca Heisler, = who was always there to answer my questions and provide support. Through our interactions with the Senior Services, I learned about where I can go for assistance. As a senior citizen myself and now that I am alone, I wonder= who will take care of me. It’s nice to know that Senior Services will = be there to call upon. Thank you very much for this recognition."

I still check in on Mel from time to time. I am happ= y to say that he is adjusting very well. The folks at the LGBT Aging Project brought him to a weekly luncheon for LGBT seniors that they cosponsor wi= th Ethos, another elder service agency in Boston. Mel called me to tell me = he had attended the luncheon and felt like he was beginning to come out all over again. He reconnected with an old friend at the lunch who he hadn’t seen in over 40 years.

I am so proud to have known Walter and Melvin, and t= o have been touched by their story. The love and compassion they held for each other continues to inspire me.

Rebecca Heisler is a senior case manager for Somerville-Cambridge Elder Services, Inc.<= /p>

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