The song is "Asshole" and it's by Dennis Leary. Here are the words: I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job I'm your average white suburbanite slob I like football and porno and books about war I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor My wife and my job, My kids and my car nMy feet on my tableand a cuban cigar But sometimes that just ain't enough To keep a man like me interested So i've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane While people behind me are going insane Chorus I'm an assholeX2 I use public toilets and I piss on the seats I walk around in the summertime sayin how about this heat Chorus Sometimes I park in handicapped places While handicapped people make handicapped faces Chorus Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong Naaaaaaa Chorus Spoken: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado Convertable, hot pink with whale skin hub-caps and all leather cow interior and big brown babby seal eyes for headlights. Yeah and I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour getting one mile per gallon, sucking down Quarter Pounder cheese burgers from Mc Donalds in the old fasion, non-biodegradible styrofoam containers and when I'm done suckn' down those greaseburgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth on the American flag and then I'm gonna toss those styrofoam containers right out the side and there ain't a god-damned thing you can do about it, you know why? Cause we got the bombs that's why. Two words: Nuclear fucking weapons Ok? Russia, Germany, Romania- they can have all the democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won't make a lick of a difference because we got the bombs OK? John Wayne's not dead-he's frozen. And as soon as we find a cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the Duke out and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off he's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpah and a case of whiskey and drive down to Texas. (Hey you know you really are an asshole) Why don't you just shut up and sing the song pal..... I'm an asshole x2 A-S-S-H-O-L-E everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E